Same song, different verse

It is better to finish the race at the back of the pack than to sit on the couch and wish you were faster. I have been telling myself this for years. But wow, do I struggle to believe it's really true.

I have been dithering about this August triathlon idea. The one near Joe's new city has a lake swim, and my feelings about lake swims are well documented. There's also an August sprint triathlon about an hour from me with a pool swim, but neither Joe nor my college roommate will be at that one.

Despite the dithering, I've completed (or approximated) the first two workouts in Matt Fitzgerald's basic triathlon training plan. Today was the first time I'd gone for a swim since my June 2021 triathlon, and I would rate the workout as a solid Not Dreadful. Pete asked me to climb with him this evening, and I agreed. I am recording a few modest accomplishments from the climbing session:

1. I finished my first outdoor route of the year, even though topping out is so scary that I always think about climbing down instead. (Topping out = climbing over the edge of the big artificial boulder to the pathway in the middle, so you can walk back down to your starting point.) 
2. I fell off the overhang-y part of the outdoor boulder while attempting a move that was too hard for me. My tendency is to announce that I can't do the move, which is only sometimes true. I don't like falling backwards to the ground, but I lived to tell the tale.
3. I climbed a top-rope slab route for the first time in years. Slab routes are the opposite of overhang -- they tilt a little bit away from the climber. They tend to be reachy and balance-y, and I used to say emphatically that I didn't even want to try them. But I saw one tonight that looked like it might be fun, and Pete offered to belay me. And what do you know? It was totally fun.

There is a friendly little group of middle-aged-lady back-of-the-packers here in town, and I know that if I start showing up to events again they will be welcoming. Telling myself that I need to be in better shape before I can go back is unnecessary and unproductive. And yet-- I keep telling myself that I need to be in better shape before I go back.