Audience

Let's discuss: I think that concert etiquette has shifted dramatically since I was a kid, and I don't like it at all.

I've resigned myself to the fact that my expectations are out of step with many people's expectations at high school concerts. Attendees are asked to silence their phones and refrain from going in and out during songs, but they just don't do it. The doors bang open and closed all the way through; people answer voice calls mid-performance. At the last concert I attended, I sat in the third row and I was still surrounded by people talking all through the performance -- not just between the songs, but during them.

It felt outrageously rude to me, because at that distance a conversation is audible to the performers, who are trying to concentrate on something difficult. They need to listen to the other members of their ensemble so the performance goes smoothly. Who would choose to make that harder for a bunch of nervous kids?

A few weeks ago we went to a symphony performance on campus and I was relieved that it was much better there. I wondered if it might be the older crowd, or the ticket prices, or maybe a different culture among classical music enthusiasts who are there specifically to hear the the music and not with a vague idea of showing support for an extended family member.

But tonight we went back to the symphony, and sat in the back with a busload of senior citizens who were visiting from another town. To my chagrin, they were like the high school parents who won't stop talking during the music. There was so much conversation during the performance that I kept wishing I had a squirt gun. It doesn't seem like rocket science: if you talk in a place with good acoustics, your voice will carry. If you talk in a place where people are listening carefully, they will wind up listening to you.

I was thinking about the word "audience," which comes from the Latin word audiens, or "listening." When my kids were little I fretted so much about teaching them to be quiet when they were part of an audience.* I guess that's an old-fashioned approach these days? At the risk of sounding like a cantankerous old lady, I have to say I prefer the old-fashioned approach.

*I remain entirely sympathetic to parents or grandparents offering quick explanations to kids who are learning how to behave in concerts and movies, and I understand they may need to exit in a hurry even if the timing isn't optimal. My side-eye is reserved for the grownups who don't seem to have figured out sitting still and being quiet.