I gave a new lecture today to my grad students: 75 minutes of content I'd never taught before. It couldn't have gone better, really. The timing worked out perfectly, which is always a little uncertain with a first pass through new material. I checked in with them about the level of the material (it should be new enough to be challenging, familiar enough for them to link it to their previous experiences) and they said it was just right. They were so engaged, you guys-- leaning forward in their chairs, sharing their own experiences, asking good questions, laughing at my jokes.
I am wrung out, like a lemon half that has been through a particularly vigorous juicing. Picture me slumped sadly on the countertop, awaiting my trip to the compost pile.
The thing I forget in between prepping new classes is that it's not just about the time commitment, substantial as that might be. It's also about the regular outlay of creative energy, and the constant planning and adjustment. I find that the uncertainty is still an ongoing stressor, even here in my second decade of teaching.
I am doing my best to focus on the fact that I'm having a lot of fun in the classroom and the students are really responding. In the half-hour before bedtime, though, the upsides seem a little more remote.
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