Weeks and weeks ago when I asked for post topic suggestions, Celeste asked about holiday traditions. At the time it was too hot to think about holidays, but here we are in December.
When my kids were small I felt a lot of pressure to Make Christmas Magical. The gifts felt fraught; the Santa thing felt fraught. (On which topic, have you seen this guy's posts at Psychology Today? He also hates the Elf on the Shelf. We did neither Santa nor the Elf, but I hope we were less bossy about it.) These days I am grateful for less pressure and more clarity. We know what we like, mostly, and we've mostly figured out how to make it work.
The Advent bin comes out on Saturday afternoon after Thanksgiving (unless TG falls on the 22nd or 23rd, because in those years Advent starts a week later). From it we retrieve two Nativity sets: one for the living room and one for the dining room. It is imperative that the wise men start out on the other side of the room from the stable folks (they have to travel; they'll get there on Epiphany) and the baby Jesus goes back into the basement until Christmas morning. In some years (true confession time) the baby Jesus stays in the basement for part of the Christmas season, because in some years a person gets distracted with all the December goings-on.
We also pull out our little Advent wreath, which I love even though the openings for candles are just slightly the wrong size and the candles are always catawampus as a result, and three decorative items: an angel, a shiny tree, a felt tree. And that's all, folks; with that 15-minute effort I am done decorating until Christmas Eve. Elwood occasionally does a strand of outside lights, but not usually.
We aim to light the Advent candle and pray vespers together consistently, but we probably only do it 4 nights a week. Maybe 5. This was such a battle when the kids were small, but no longer. Instead of fighting over prayer books and yanking on ribbons, they just pull up the iBreviary apps on their phones. We start with O Come O Come and end with The King of Glory Comes (with clapping, natch), followed by mildly competitive candle-blowing-out and a piece of chocolate for everybody.
Once December rolls around, this is followed by the opening of the Advent calendar (Bonne Maman again this year! so fun!) and the placing of the magnetic ornament on the Melissa & Doug tree. Oh, wait, that tree makes a fourth decorative item that comes out of the Advent bin. Oh, ALSO, another thing that comes out of the Advent bin is the SEASONAL WASHI TAPE. I am very fond of the seasonal washi tape. I love to see those little gold foil gingerbread guys bedecking my bullet journal.
A couple of days ago, as Stella and I were walking to work and school I was telling her how much I appreciate the way the liturgical calendar parallels my own frame of mind in the waning of the year. November: we're all going to die! most people are already dead! Most of December: pray, fast, go to confession! Late December: rejoice! the people that walked in darkness have turned a corner at last! I just do not feel very festive in the early part of December (thanks, SAD), and the focus on quiet preparation works much better for me than forced cheer. At the same time, Advent is chock full of fabulous feast days, and we usually observe a handful of them in a low-key way.
We never do all of these things but we always do some of these things.
WEEK 1:
St. Andrew: haggis (usually vegetarian) and a saltire in the dining room. St. Francis Xavier: Indian food for dinner. If I miss St. Francis Xavier on December 3 I have sometimes made felafel in honor of St. John Damascene on the 4th. We do stockings on December 6: St. Nick's Day means a small gift and a stocking with clementines, nuts, and sometimes chocolate; the stockings go back in their basement bin afterward. On the following day we eat birthday cake for the first time this month but not the last.
WEEK 2:
Some years I get fancy with food for Immaculate Conception, but usually we just go to church. And I'm not very consistent about Our Lady of Guadalupe, but it's pretty easy to make enchiladas and maybe dig out the Tomie de Paola picture book for old times' sake. The kids are fond of St. Lucia buns, and I am happy to bake with saffron. I will take my good cheer wherever I can find it on the 13th of December. The skies may be gray but at least the dough is golden-yellow.
WEEK 3:
We light the pink candle and switch out King of Glory for Rejoice in the Lord Always. This week is often when we make our stelline d'oro, because one round of saffron baking is not sufficient. If I am knitting Christmas gifts it is also the week in which I suspect I have a repetitive strain injury.
WEEK 4:
More birthday cake! This year there will be fourteen candles for Stella -- can you believe it? Before the pandemic this week often meant music rehearsals, with a couple of kids and me joining in the joyful noise. Maybe we'll be back there this year. On December 24 Elwood takes some combination of kids to cut down a tree, while I stay home and pull out the Christmas bin. Do the lights work? Is our slightly decrepit tree stand going to make it through another year? Let's hope so, because Ace hardware may not be open by sundown on Christmas Eve. We decorate the tree with Bruce Cockburn's Christmas album in the background. The apocalyptic angel goes on last.
CHRISTMASTIME!
We mark the end of the penitential season with a celebratory fish dinner, and go to midnight Mass together. ("Midnight" Mass is usually at 8pm. Our pastor is an early-to-bed early-to-rise kind of guy.) After Mass, everybody opens one present.
This is a long post, isn't it? Maybe I'll do a second installment about Christmas itself instead of making it even longer. I must have told you before about the whole present-opening song-and-dance, but if not it deserves a post of its own.
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