When my brown tights bit the dust I decided to try thigh-high socks as a replacement. They looked just right when they came in the mail: lightly cabled, warm and toasty.
This morning I was getting dressed in a hurry and I decided not to wear them with my short rust-colored dress. "They might sag," I told myself wisely. Instead I put on a knee-length sage-green dress and my pretty shawl that shades from sage to brown, and I left home feeling happy and put together. This feeling lasted approximately 50 yards into my walk to work, and then my socks started falling down.
If I hadn't been walking with Stella, if we hadn't been a few minutes behind schedule, I would have turned around and put tights on. But instead I said to myself, unwisely, "It will be fine," and kept going.
Reader, it is not fine.
Fully extended, the socks reach the top of the concave bit of my inner thigh. They are tall socks! Unfortunately, they are powerless against the siren song of gravity. If I walk in them, they inch down bit by bit until they sag to my calves.
This is not a good look.
I got through my morning class by stepping behind the computer desk at intervals and giving them a subtle yank. (At least I hope it was subtle.) Now I am back in my office, surveying the options. Does anyone else remember the flashes we wore in the 70s and 80s with Girl Scout uniforms? They were elastic garters with little colorful flags on them, designed to keep our knee socks from falling down. I wondered if I might be able to make a facsimile with the stuff in my office, but there's nothing elastic in sight.
Could I make a washi tape garter, do you figure? If I tied a USB cable around my thigh, would it act like a garter or just a tourniquet?
I have a Monday-only discount code for the sandwich shop across the street, but if I walk over there two things will happen: first, my socks will sag, exposing my bare and hairy knees, and second, I will see multiple people from this department who are also getting sandwiches there. I thought about getting a sandwich delivered but I'm too cheap for that.
My vanity and my frugality are waging a mighty battle, you guys.
I think I am going to try the washi tape garter option. What's your bet? Will it work or will I just have sagging socks festooned with sagging washi tape? Place your bets and I'll report back.
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