We got a giant turkey this year. I ordered an 18-pounder, but they gave us a 22-pounder instead. That has to be the biggest turkey I've ever cooked. I didn't catch the size discrepancy until this morning, and I blanched when I saw the cooking time.
The oven we bought in 2018 has a convection setting, which I have never used. But today I resolved to Branch Out and Try New Things, and roast my turkey with the convection fan going. It was going to take 2.75 hours instead of 4.25 hours, which sounded like a good plan to me.
But I discovered today that the Math Part of my brain doesn't seem to function well at the same time that the Branching Out Part is ticking and whirring, because when I crunched the numbers on Go Time for the turkey I was off by an hour. We wanted to eat at 3, which meant that I wanted to the turkey to come out of the oven and start resting at 2:30, which should have meant that it would go in the oven at 11:45. Instead I was very insistent that people needed to finish their other oven stuff up in time for me to put the turkey in at 10:45. I was a little miffed when 10:45 stretched to 10:55, because did I want to eat at 3:10? No, I did not.
Weirdly, the Math Part of my brain kicked back in all on its own. I was sitting on the couch at 1:30, reading my book in the lull between wrapping up the advance prep and the arrival of our out-of-town guests, when it said, "Ahem! Jamie! The turkey is going to be done very soon!" Or maybe it was the Turkey Smelling Part of my brain rather than the Math Part-- who can say?
I have been roasting turkeys for almost 25 years now without ever making that particular mistake; I suppose there's a first time for everything. I had a moment of inner flailing, certain that I had wrecked Thanksgiving dinner, but then it occurred to me that it's not actually critical for the turkey to be done exactly 30 minutes before the meal. It always cools off during the slicing, so it's not like anyone expects the meat to be piping hot. I was roasting it upside down because it was so enormous that I'd been worried about drying out the breast meat, so it wasn't going to be shriveling to a state of drywall-esque desiccation.
I switched the oven to its warm setting and hoped for the best. It worked out surprising well: the turkey was juicy and the rest of the food was good. Next year I will be sure to ask someone to check my math.
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