In general I try to avoid writing about gloomy things in this space, but the biggest ongoing gloomy thing in my life has been getting me down this week. Imagine my surprise when I walked into church this morning and the accompanist said, "Would it be all right if I added some alto harmonies today?" I had never suggested this; she had always seemed a little reluctant to sing. I am virtually certain she does not read my blog and could not have known that just yesterday I was pining for someone with whom to harmonize.
It turns out that she is not reluctant to sing; she is only reluctant to sing all by herself. It was so delightful to sing together today -- such a joy.
I have posted occasionally about the frustrations of praying faithfully for a lot of years about an important question where the answer to date has been NO. It's a hard NO to hear, friends. Sometimes it just squashes me. But this is the second time in the past few months when I have said to myself, "I am feeling so SQUASHED by that big NO right now" -- only to receive an immediate and surprising YES about something else that was small but close to my heart.
After Mass I tried to explain to the accompanist why I was so grateful that she decided to take the plunge today, out of the blue, and offer to sing alto. I teared up in the middle of my explanation, which could have been weird. But she's been hearing a big ongoing NO in her own life, and she understood. Sometimes it's a sudden unexpected YES that helps you to remember whose you are and where you're going. It reminds me forcibly of this Screwtape quote. It leaves me feeling like I can carry the weight of the NO for a while longer.
Recent Comments