Discerning

In June of 2019 I was part of a mission retreat team: our goal was to take our retreat program and establish it in another community. Originally, the plan was to go back a year later and lead a second retreat with team members who had participated on the first one, so that they could get the program up and running in their town.

June 2020 was not a great time for retreats, though.

I agreed to be on the second retreat team, and then had second thoughts. It will be in November, the weekend before my professional organization has its convention. I told a friend that I'd go back to the convention this year -- in the past we've had a lot of fun rooming together at these conventions.

It's going to be a busier-than-average fall in terms of time spent on teaching, because I'm teaching a class I last taught in 2015 and prepping a new class. I'll be starting from scratch with the new prep; the retiring instructor is unlikely to share many of her materials with me.

All of this was swirling around in my brain, making me wonder if I should back out of doing the retreat team altogether. And then yesterday I got a call from the director, asking me to be the team's spiritual director.

I filled this role in 2018 for a local retreat, and I loved doing it. It remains one of my favorite things I've ever done. I had more time available in the run-up to that retreat, though, since most of our meetings happened after my summer class ended and before the fall semester started. And the director was my friend Veronica, who encouraged me to do whatever seemed right to me and was willing to roll with just about anything I suggested. Neither of those things will be true this time.

I told the director that I would take it to adoration tomorrow and get back to her. I'm definitely leaning toward yes. I'm just not sure it's a prudent yes.