I am lonely.
I have a little circle of true dear long-time friends, all of whom I've known since 1980-something. We text each other all the time, even though we don't see each other often. I have a wider circle of friends who seem happy to see me when we cross paths. But I am finding that making new friends or strengthening recent friendships is not easy for me these days.
Some of it is COVID. Some of it is that people are busy. I guess my worry is that some chunk of it is also about me.
Someone I knew when we were doctoral students together took a job at Gladlyville U. Her building is across the street from mine and I asked if she'd like to have coffee. I thought we had a very pleasant conversation about being academics with big families. But I am not sure she would agree. I emailed afterward and said, "That was so nice -- let's do it again sometime." She said, "Maybe next semester!"
She is busy; I know she's busy. She commutes for an hour to get here, and her kids are younger than mine with a full slate of activities, and she's pre-tenure. It doesn't have to mean that I misread the situation completely.
It just makes me wonder if I misread the situation completely.
I have heard lots of people say that adult friendships are hard, so I hope it is not that I am too quirky or too intense or too...whatever else. But you know, after a while a person starts to wonder if maybe she's the problem.
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