Spirals

I am having a social anxiety flare, in which I am convinced that everyone in my orbit is secretly thinking, "Well, one silver lining of the pandemic was that I spent less time with that VERY ODD Jamie Gladly. Too bad that part's over!" And then the worry makes me a little weirder than normal, which doesn't help matters.

In my home, with people who love me, I tend to lean into the quirky. Tonight at dinner Elwood asked me to sing God Save The Queen for reasons I can no longer remember even though dinner was only a few hours ago, and I gave it my best shot. Unfortunately, even though I can sing multiple verses of My Country 'Tis of Thee, I am a little vague on the words to God Save The Queen.

God save our noble queen
Let her eat all the beans?

God save our noble queen
Grant her a ZamboNI?

That one doesn't even scan but OH MY did we laugh at the prospect of Queen Elizabeth driving a Zamboni around an ice rink.

The sad thing about the world beyond my dinner table is that the line between hilarious and VERY ODD is sometimes a little hard to make out, except in hindsight.

(I am not bursting into song in any committee meetings.)

We are a third of the way through the semester now, and it is feeling like midterm season. Twice this week I jolted awake at 5, thinking, "I'M BEHIND I'M BEHIND!" Maybe the thing I need most in order to put the brakes on the anxiety spiral is a good night's sleep.

I am also mired in anxiety about house stuff. Perhaps I am not the only one feeling stuck there? I called the people who have come in the past to clear clogged drains, because our washing machine drain is backing up. The old phone number went to a new person's voice mail, and the new person did not respond. When I called back, the new person's voice mail was full.

It always causes me some stress, arranging (or trying to arrange) for a person to come and take care of something around the house. It feels more anxious-making than usual right now. How far out will they be booked up? Everybody's booked up right now, correct? What are the odds that I can find someone who's being sensible about COVID?

I guess I have blogged myself into a partial solution here: I think I will call the plumber, who recommended the first drain guy and who seems likely to be reasonable about COVID. Maybe he can come? Maybe he can recommend someone else? This is a solvable problem.

(The bursting-into-song-at-the-dinner-table thing, though -- that seems to be an intractable issue.)