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May 02, 2021


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I am glad to “meet” Marie. Though I’m not Catholic, I am Christian in a denomination that doesn’t seem to want to welcome trans people wholeheartedly, and it is a shame to exclude those who want to be part of the body of Christ. I hope Marie will continue to love Christ and will be welcomed and encouraged in her faith by your community.

Jamie, I am awed at your courage and Marie’s. Her path is a hard one, but thank God she has you as her mother. I wish we had a better world, where Marie could feel safe in the spaces where she finds her heart. I send you and her my love and prayers.

Oh Jamie, how lucky all of your children are to have you. Congratulations to Marie, and to you, and to your family, from a stranger who has admired your mothering from afar for at least a decade and a half.

Of course your daughter is Marie on your blog -- your family is an incredibly beautifully example of Catholic life.

I hope the Church manages to find itself in time to make Marie feel at home there again. And as someone who has an amazing sister and thinks everyone should be so lucky, I'm glad to hear that Stella has a sister too!

Sending your family love and peace, Jamie. My daughter transitioned as a young child, before we affiliated with a church beyond our home (long before C19, I was committed to home worship). When I was ready for baptism, for the commitment of being a member of a church community, the reality of my daughter's life combined with her love for Jesus meant seeking and choosing an affirming, welcoming church. (Not all of my children followed my path to Christ, but she did, so I was choosing a church for all of us who were on the Way). For us, this meant the Episcopal church. Prior to my daughter's turn in the road, I had been quite seriously pondering the Catholic church for our family. In the end, I know we made the right choice for us. I can't say how it would have been, had we already been Catholic. It must be very hard at times, carrying the complexity of it all. You have my compassion and prayers.

Thank you for introducing us to Marie.

You really hit the nail on the head with the spiral of not-knowing, the leaving, the even-more-not-knowing. How can you treat people this way if you actually know someone that identifies in the way you are so against?

I don't understand the lack of compassion for LGBT folks in the church. God is Love.

I can't say anything better than what Karen said above, so know that I wholeheartedly agree with her comment.

Now i need to go reread Marie's favorite Psalm.

I'm not Catholic and left the American Christian church a few years ago for reasons like you describe, so I can't comment on things like that. But! I am 100% pro-being-whoever-you-are and believe that God loves us all, just like we are. I think that the people who struggle with this concept are the people who don't love themselves and can't imagine anyone loving them as they are. Those women's comments say much more about THEM than about anything else. I feel sad for them.

God is love and love is God. There is no separating the two. There have always been LGBTQIA friends among us and God has always loved them.

I'm so thankful that you are your daughter's mother. She'll have roots and wings with you and that's all we can ask for as parents.

Beautiful Marie. It makes my heart glad that you 1) are her mom and 2) that you always give me faith in what can be the future of the Catholic Church, a church of full acceptance and love. So much love to you and Marie. You both are in my prayers.

Congratulations Marie and Gladly family!

It is brave of you to share, Jamie. We have a niece who is transitioning to a nephew and good friends who are in the same situation with their teen, and it was very hard for them to share initially, but both families have supportive communities that have continued to welcome them. Our friend's teen has continued to altar serve at our parish and will go to a Catholic university in the fall. So far both places have welcomed him. Thanks also for sharing the story of St Euphrosyne. I think my friend will appreciate it.

I just want to offer love and support to you, Marie and your whole family.

I think Marie is brave! This is a beautiful post and I am proud of you for writing it! Welcome Marie! Marie reminds me of Joan of Arc as well. Brave and determined and steadfast in her faith. Blessings to you!

Hello Marie!

And yes, there absolutely is a place for you in the Catholic Church and the Church needs you!

Is there change that will take decades to happen? Yes. Will you need to work to find your best spot? Yes. I’m excited for you to be a part of that change. Look for your Catholic tribe and hang tight with them. If someone isn’t inclusive of you, then they just aren’t your tribe ... move on.

All the blessings for a happy future.



Welcome Marie, and thank you, Jamie for this beautiful post. I am heartbroken that Marie and countless other people do not feel welcome in the church. We all have so much work to do. Mainly listening and repentance. God is love, we are loved, we are to love. The more I learn, the more I cannot see this issue in any other light. I am glad there are faithful, thoughtful people in the Catholic Church like you and Marie.

Hello Marie, nice to meet you! And thank you Jamie for introducing us to your daughter. Thank you both for having the courage to request & write this post.

Welcome, Marie. You sound like a wonderful young woman. I hope you can make and find a home in the Church, a home that will nourish your soul and your faith, and always surround you with love.

Jamie, you and Marie and your family are in the prayers of this random internet stranger and longtime reader. I hope to continue to learn from you about living out faith in the family.

I have followed your blog forever it seems, and as always, your words are wise and well informed. Much love to you and your family, and prayers that this hardheaded world will come to its senses and see what is true and good. Your faith has always been an inspiration and inguide to me, and I am grateful.

I am so glad that Marie has you as a parent...that support is soooo important! Thanks for sharing with us--it has always felt like an honor to learn about your family and this is one more example of thoughtful and loving parenting to admire. Sending love to you and your whole family!

Please tell Marie that it’s an honor to meet her, and I wish I had her faithfulness toward God at this moment in time. Her habits of daily devotion can inspire us all.

Love and joyful prayers for all of you in this moment of new birth.

(Also, this isn’t the first time the church has gotten something wrong, and it probably won’t be the last. May we walk the road together on the way.)

Both of you are brave and courageous people, and I support and salute you from afar. <3

Hello, Marie! It’s lovely to make your acquaintance. I’m glad you’re here. May this be a wonderful season of renewal and growth for you! ❤️

Love to you Jamie and to Marie!

Love, hope and peace to you and your family, Jamie. Thank you for your bravery in sharing Marie's story. I am pondering Jody's comment that this is not the first time the church as gotten something wrong.

So happy to read this post and to learn about this journey of discovery.

Oh, this must be so complicated for all of you, and so important to walk this road together. Sending you all my support on the road, and strength for each of you. I hope things get simpler, easier, more welcoming.

Peace and light to Marie. (One of my dearest friends is a Marie, so I'm partial to other Maries.)

I'm not one for having parenting goals, but one that's always been on my mind is to love the child I have, which entails some understanding that they are their own person and their path may very well be one I have never imagined. I'm glad your children have you firmly on their side.

Jamie, I am WAY behind on my blog reading so this is a little late. I've been reading your blog since Marie was just a little kid, and sometimes I feel like I actually "know" your family. Anyway - I wanted to say hi to Marie and recognize how difficult and brave and scary it is for her to come out (and also for you to post about it!).

Best of luck to ALL of you, and I think your example of St. Euphrosyne is incredibly relevant. Or, maybe I'll put it this way: if the story of any saint is relevant today, then the stories of ALL saints are relevant today. We do not get to pick and choose the stories that are relevant based on our internally-held biases.

I am also way behind on my blog reading. Good on you for being a supportive parent <3 I have more than a few friends who have left churches over LBGTQ issues. I'm actually going to share this with a friend who's 9-year-old has just started sharing with her about this.

I 100% believe that people (even people in the church ;)) can change and I think it will move faster now that people are noticing that this IS the face of their friends and loved ones and not some mysterious "other."

I probably didn't share with you about giving my Human Diversity teacher an article (from Cornerstone Magazine, no less) about conversion therapy because I thought she was being too one-sided when talking about homosexuality. No hate in my heart at that time but I believed that it was something that would be helpful. I've shared that story with people who know me now and they are FLOORED. I honestly didn't have any kind of epiphany and am positive it was simply by making new friends and meeting new people.

This all happened around the same time of my drift away from the church although that was more related to my making new friends of different religions (and the anti-Muslim sentiment around 9/11) rather than on behalf of my LGBTQ friends. Life is weird.

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