It seems likely that a year from now the details of this weird and uncertain summer will be blurry. Did we decide that our kids could play with the neighbor kids in June? Was it really as fraught as we remember?
We are inching back in the direction of normal, but more cautiously than many of our neighbors. The most risky decision: Joe has been really restless at home and applied to work at a grocery store. Mask compliance in this grocery store is not ridiculous but also not great. He starts work tomorrow.
"Not ridiculous but not great" is kind of the flavor of things here. You guys, I just did NOT foresee the dramatic and data-deficient divide that has gaped open in the wake of COVID-19, where one side views masks as a commonsense measure to protect the vulnerable and the other views them as an indicator of cowardice and gullibility.
I am wondering if there's some kind of PSA campaign that could help. Like, a visual of a parking lot with a totally catawampus car parked way too close to its neighbors. The text could say something like: "You wouldn't shove your car into your neighbor's parking space like this. Don't breathe your germs into your neighbor's air."
Or maybe a bigger poster, that says: "Maybe you're not worried about coming down with COVID-19 tomorrow. But how many people do you want to infect today? Do you want to give it to your best friend's grandma? your neighbor with cancer? your co-worker who had a kidney transplant? When you refuse to wear a mask, it doesn't make you look brave. It makes you look selfish."
At first I was really pleased with the way the climbing gym was handling its reopening, but as the weeks have gone by it's become more worrisome: inconsistent mask use, inconsistent social distancing. It's been bugging me for a bit now, but I hesitated to rock the boat. That middle-aged white lady "May I speak to the manager?" schtick is seeming especially privilege-fueled these days. But today I spoke to the manager. They let someone in with no mask at all, and for a while he was just hanging out, maskless, by the narrow entrance where it was impossible to give him a 6-foot berth, and then a family crowded into the same space to return rental equipment, mostly with their masks off, and I was just like, seriously?? I went home and sent an email that said in part "I think we're in a sensitive window for setting new norms. If the expectation at the gym becomes 'they post these signs about masks but they don't actually think it's important,' then you will expose your customers to avoidable risk and create habits among your visitors that are hard to change."
The manager wrote me back right away with an apology. He said this was the first time someone had claimed a medical reason for not wearing a mask, and they had to figure out an ADA-compliant response on the fly. He says they'll do better going forward.
I know it's not great for me to be thinking "Oh, yes, a 'medical' 'reason'" in scornful skeptical scare quotes, but that's where I am right this minute.
Stella went back to piano lessons this week, with masks and distancing. The teacher is being very sensible, I think -- opening up her studio to piano students but not to wind students or voice students. But it's kind of depressing that when she asked me to call her about lessons I thought to myself, "Oh, man, is she the kind of Catholic who thinks science is bunk?"
"Science is bunk" is not a tenable Catholic position, but you might not be able to draw that conclusion as an outside observer.
We've given Stella permission to play outside with two of the neighbor girls. We're talking about maybe meeting my family for a weekend and staying in separate rental cabins. I had been in this unproductive thought loop: "I want to see my family this summer. It's been a year since I saw them. But I can't stay in their house and possibly expose them to COVID. I don't want to get a hotel room in a state that's not taking this seriously." [repeat from the top] But if we meet in the middle (in a more sensible state than theirs) and stay in separate single-family cabins and meet up outside, that seems more doable. I think.
Joe wants to take a road trip with three of his friends, two of whom are from parts of the state with much higher infection rates. My gut-level reaction to this proposal: AYFKM?!?! But I am trying to be measured and understanding and also not to swear. It stinks to be lonely; I get it. Is it reasonable for me to say yes to playing outdoors with two neighbor girls and no to road trips with high school friends? Who knows? Who can tell?
Not I.
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