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March 25, 2020

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I'm praying, my friend. I wish I had advice or consolation-- though it seems like you've had at least a little of the latter. God knows. It's in his hands.

I’m really glad someone else has a Susie. Praying for you, friend. Xoxo

I'm praying for you. This is such a weird time.

Do you suppose we could all send our Susies off into social isolation together without us?

I've never been diagnosed with anything. Counting the time it was sought for me when I was a child, I've sought evaluation four times in my life and I keep being told ".....welllll.... I suppose if we stretch the DSM really hard we might be able to diagnose you with X, Y, or Z...." but I never get anything. Ha.

I did get told, by the latest and most compassionate of the therapists, that I have a "compulsive personality" and "perfectionistic self-presentation." So I just go with that.

Times like this are tough because they are objectively dangerous and it is impossible to escape from the risk. And it seems there is always something more we can do to make it feel like we are decreasing the risk yet more. I handle the outer bag of the newspaper, and the outer envelopes of the mail, with gloves, and after I separate the innards from the outers I wash my hands. When the grocery delivery came for the first time on Tuesday I washed the sealed containers that needed to be refrigerated -- milk, cheese, sour cream -- in a sink of warm soapy water. Fruit too. The nonperishables I put away in the pantry, segregated, to sit for a couple of days. This seems extremely weird and yet it makes me feel better. Sometimes it helps me to take one step into the weirdness and declare that it's as far as I will go down that path.

I have something that Francis de Sales said about anxiety, but I will put it on my own blog, and you'll have to check back for it later.

praying.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. This time is really, really hard. I'm thinking of you and your family

Thanks for sharing. I have a teen daughter with a anxiety disorder that probably includes OCD. I hope she has named her intrusive voice, I think that seems very helpful.

This pandemic has left a lot of OCD folks grieving their prior recoveries. Their Susies are thrilled with all the hand washing. The government gives a daily boost to all the catastrophic thinking and compulsive behaviors around contamination, illness, death.

I’m glad you have some solace in your faith but I’m writing to remind you that there are meds that can help quiet that voice. If Susie (giant and fanged as she is) is too distracting for you, ask your DR for help.

❤️

I will pray for you. I, too, find myself flashing back to postpartum days with little ones, perhaps remembering those months stuck at home and not in control of my own life/schedule. Having had older kids for a while now, I have forgotten how difficult this lack of control is.

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