Twenty-five years and three days ago, my husband and I promised to love each other for better and for worse until death should us part.
We are twenty-five years (and three days) in, and I can say with certainty that I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I didn't really know what the good parts would be like, the gift of being seen clearly and known intimately and loved anyway. I didn't anticipate the gift of a secret language, in which a syllable can speak volumes. I didn't know how often he would be able to read my mind. I don't blog much about the frustrations of being married to my particular husband (because how unfair would that be?), but I couldn't really have imagined what those would be like either. Here's to leaps of faith, and to persistence.
I thought about writing this post on Tuesday, our actual anniversary. I thought about writing it on Wednesday, the 50th anniversary of Humanae Vitae -- the encyclical that has had such a profound impact on our lives. I thought about writing it yesterday, on the feast of Ss. Ann and Joachim, because their feast day always reminds me that a marriage can bear fruit that will change the world, even if it doesn't look quite like you expected.
But instead I am writing it on an ordinary Friday, as we get ready to make a quick trip to Chicago. Chicago is far enough away to feel like a getaway but not so far that it feels like an expedition. We are going to hear a concert in Grant Park this evening, and stay overnight near the college campus where we met in 1987. In the morning I am going to run beside Lake Michigan, and we'll have most of the day together before we need to retrieve the two youngest kids from the grandparents' house.
I am wondering what the next 25 years might hold for us, and also thinking that my guesses about where we'd be in 2018 would have been pretty far off base. Maybe the thing to do instead of speculating is to be grateful for the present, and to lean in to the uncertainty. I am thinking about the woman of Proverbs 31, who knew a thing or two about marriage and family life: "She is clothed in strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future."
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