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January 14, 2018


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Someone beat on my bedroom door with a tap shoe, so the beautiful glossy finish, pristine for 90 years, is now marred with little half-moon pits.

Sigh. When things are good, they’re great, but my daughters are often at daggers drawn; reminders to all three kids to be kind and generous fall flat in the face of any stress (and they are STRESSED — in various junior-year ways that are mostly out of my control at this point, since they frequently reject my advice on the grounds that I know nothing); and I once had a fight get so bad that I offered $10 to the first person to walk away, one child yelled “you can have it [continued to attack]” and the other hurled an insult right back.

I almost can’t bear to hear from parents whose teenagers basically get along.

I'm glad to hear that someone else had to lower her spiritual-output aspirations for a while. My so-far-only kid is ten months, and even with one child I keep making exciting plans (for everything, not just spiritual output) that my pre-parent self could have done, and then I keep sadly walking them back.

I loved this post. Most of my spiritual output these days is also devoted to de-feralizing my own children. What an excellent term!

On Sunday though, most of mine were being relatively cooperative and a friend streaked past me, running after her two year old with her seven month old (one of a pair of TWINS), who was headed for the chancel area. I was MORE THAN happy to cuddle her sweet baby for the duration of the service, much to the fascination of my own children. I am just now becoming aware of how much easier our lives are than just a couple of years ago and now I am feeling wistful for the present. My eleven year old just feels so big and man-like! I will hold more babies at church I think.

PHEW. This made me feel much, much better about my own aspirations 😂 It reminded me of a conversation I had once with a Dominican sister who said that they don’t layer on a lot of penances during Lent because there’s already so much penance built into their daily life. That...is how I feel about my life over the past several years, and I have had very low capacity for personal growth goal-setting as a result, but your post made me realize that perhaps this is fairly typical for my stage of life rather than a sign that I’m just a wimp. Thanks.

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