I was trying to be helpful, you guys. Usually the Christmas tree is a joint effort, and Elwood is the person who handles the sawing parts. But today is Christmas tree day, and he was making a quick run to pick up some last minute groceries. So I sent the 15yo out with the saw. He cut off a narrow ring from the bottom, as requested, and I brought the tree in myself. "Wow," said Pete. "You can pick up the tree in one hand?" I was feeling kind of macho, I must admit.
We worked together to seat it firmly in the stand, and make sure it was straight, and tighten the bolts symmetrically. We decorated it in a cloud of nostalgia, chattering about favorite ornaments. Pete brought it a drink, and shortly afterward it occurred to me that I should see whether it had enough water.
And then I discovered my error.
Since I'm not usually in charge of the sawing parts I forgot that there are sawing parts, plural. You don't just saw a ring off the bottom; you have to make sure there's enough naked trunk to slide right down to the bottom of the stand. You have to saw off any branches growing too close to the bottom. So when the boys and I agreed that the tree was firmly seated in the stand, what was actually happening was not that the trunk was resting on the bottom but that those lowest branches were preventing further descent.
The result: a three-inch gap between the bottom of the tree trunk and the puddle of water in the bottom of the tree stand.
I thought briefly about taking off all of the ornaments and all the lights and removing all the bolts and sawing off the branches and doing it all over again.
Instead we just added a lot of water to the stand. I mean a lot of water. Our house elves could bathe in there, if we had any house elves.
If we still had little bitties this strategy would be spell certain disaster. We'd wind up with spilled water or toppled tree or maybe both. But I think we're out of the tree-toppling years, and I think we'll be able to keep enough water in the stand to prevent the tree from drying out and setting our house on fire. I'm even optimistic that we'll be able to keep the water from splashing onto the presents lying all around, though that may be more optimism than the situation warrants.
Next year I will vote for a return to our usual division of labor. Play to your strengths, they say.
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