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July 09, 2017


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Hail the Mighty MilliCentipede Slayer!

Bathrooms are clearly places full of danger. I once got out of the shower, sans eyeglasses, and saw a large black spider scuttle across the floor. I bravely beat it to smithereens with my slipper, then put my glasses on...to find a large black fuzz from my sock.

But it was good and dead, that fuzz. And I didn't KNOW it was a fuzz when I smote it.

I do not do bugs if I can help it. If I have to kill a bug, I will shriek in order to gain the courage to smite the bug. So if you hear me shrieking in the night, I am probably killing a bug in the bathroom.

I was once told you should always ask your husband to kill bugs for you because it makes him feel manly. I have found that mine is exasperated by my bugging killing incompetence.

If the legs looked like lots of wispy hair-like legs it was a house centipede. I never saw those until I moved to Morgantown. I may hate them more than silverfish.

Millipedes don't scare me but I've also never seen them in the shower. They might scare me then.

Any bug in the shower is 10 times scarier than its dry-land counterpart.

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