Appreciated

We had a guest this weekend, a friend who moved away from our block last summer. The son who hosted him was a little worried about whether he had enjoyed his visit. "He didn't understand why phones are supposed to stay downstairs overnight," my son explained. "He said, 'But it's my phone.'" There was also the food issue: the friend didn't complain, but he also didn't eat much veggie frittata or much oven pancake.

My 14yo was thinking about hosts and guests and food, and he said something totally unexpected. He said, "Thanks for raising me not to be picky. I know I always used to say that you were serving me weird food, and you just kept telling me to try it until it didn't seem quite so weird. When I go to a friend's house I never have trouble eating what they serve me."

He thought a little more. "Yeah, I'm never in a situation where I think, 'That's too weird for me to eat.'"

"Well," he continued, "except here."

Is that as hilarious on the page as it was in the moment? Because it was hilarious in the moment.

This same kid was similarly appreciative last weekend. I came home that Friday to tall grass and bare cupboards. Tell you what, I said, I'll pick up anything you like at the grocery store if you'll go mow the grass. We wound up settling on a different plan: I would mow; he would cook dinner and clean up afterward. I don't mind mowing the grass (or at least not usually) -- it can be a contemplative undertaking when your yard isn't bent on global hegemony. When I finished up dinner was waiting for me, an un-fancy but delicious pile of potatoes and onions and eggs. After Joe finished the dishes he said, "Hey, Mom, thanks for cooking so much of the time." I started to demur, because Elwood does a lot of the cooking around here. "No," said Joe, "you cook a lot, and you wash a ton of dishes, and you never complain about it. So thanks."

You're welcome, sweetie. Thanks for noticing.

Comments

[Kristin]

Isn't that a lovely thing?

I had a student thank me for teaching last week, saying (and these really were her words), "Thank you for doing the important and often-overlooked thing."

I also remember once having a couple of students (my senior yearbook staff) rally to fix a very big, sudden, and unexpected problem before it made its way to me. They locked themselves in a room and fixed it, and didn't come out until it was done. And I only heard about it later, because (excuse me while I grab a tissue) they didn't want to worry me with it, because they knew how much was on my plate that week.

(And even then, while I heard about the problem and solution from them, it was somebody else who told me the lengths they went to to fix it. They didn't toot a single horn on their own behalf. They just did the necessary thing.)

It's really lovely not only to see that they DO notice the often-overlooked things (it gives a person the warm fuzzies)...but also to see THEM growing in sensitivity and awareness. It's why I get sniffly at graduation every year.

[L - Mama(e) in Translation]

awwww! That **IS** hilarious! I should serve more weird food here! But, compared to some other kids we know (or some kids in the family, yikes!), my kids aren't picky AT ALL! I love them for that and I hope to be able to continue to nurture their un-pickiness.

I love it that your son cooked dinner. My husband only makes the boys breakfast every day and I appreciate that, but I wish he'd cook other meals too. Sigh... And I need to have the patience required to teach my sons to cook.

[MrsDarwin]

Happy Mother's Day! Sounds like you received the best present of all. Also, I would eat a delicious pile of eggs and onions and potatoes right now, so send him to my house to cook.

[Melanie B]

That's awesome. And yes, quite hilarious.

[Kristin]

I'm with Mrs. Darwin: eggs, onions and potatoes works for me any time, especially on a busy weeknight. So not only is it great that he cooked, but it's also pretty great that he put together what sounds like some nutritious AND delicious comfort food!