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March 31, 2017

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Oh, boy. I think I'm a little bit staggered by the image of God washing us clean with all the love and joy a mother feels while washing her sweet child. And she's not doing it in spite of. She's doing it because of.

Hoo. Let me glue myself back together a little bit here....

We're practicing a song that talks about the washing of the feet, and there's a line in it about "the One who kneels and the one who yields" -- Peter. And I mentioned to my friend leading us that the older I get the more struck I am by Peter, and how hard it is for him to let Jesus do this thing for him. It's not perfectionism that Peter struggles with, but there's something in him that has trouble letting down and accepting: he's more comfortable doing -- or trying to do, or thinking it's his job to do, or assuming he CAN do...or something. And it's especially hard for him to let his beloved Teacher, of all people, do this thing for him.

I'm thinking that there's something here about fighting perfectionism by accepting love.

Which also reminds me: I heard a lovely interview with Regina Spektor (quirky pianist/singer), who talked about being just utterly blown away by the love she felt when her son was born, and also realizing, "Oh my gosh, THIS is how much my parents love ME?" It changed how she understood her relationship with them.

Applying that kind of feeling/thinking to our relationship with God is the kind of thing that kind of makes my knees turn to water.

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