Under Review

This is the beginning of my fourth year on the tenure track, which means that it's time for my department to make a formal review of my progress toward tenure. Our departmental documents describe this process in a paragraph: tell us what you've done in terms of teaching, scholarship, and service. Give us a current CV; include copies of your papers; write up a self-evaluation. So back in June I wrote up my teaching philosophy and my research statement and sent them off to some peers for their comments. It was a little painful, but NBD. I had a brief talk with my chair, who told me (in language that made it seem optional) to go ahead and complete the formal application to the provost that I'll use when I apply for tenure in two more years. I have to go back to my teaching evals (joy!) and pull out some numbers, but it didn't seem onerous.

Yesterday I sat down with the colleagues who are also going up for review and two of the faculty who will be doing the review, and learned that my colleagues have spent HOURS and HOURS over the summer creating giant binders. One of them said that hers contains hundreds of artifacts. I don't even know what she means, exactly-- conference programs, I think? sample assignments from her classes? thank-you notes from students?

Sooooo I am suddenly feeling a bit behind. My binder is due in two weeks, and I had thought I could tie up my loose ends today, before the start of the semester. Part of me is worried that I have a lot more loose ends than I thought. But no: I am going to push back against the worry. I have more than enough publications by the standards of my institution, my teaching evals are fine (with the exception of my heartbreaking spring class, for which I can provide context), and my interim letters from the committee that reviews yearly productivity reports have all been fine as well. (Do you hear the panicky part of my brain attempting to spring free from the cave where I have put it in time out? It's howling, "But the thaaaaank-yooooouuu noooooootes from students!!!!!")

The committee members expressed a clear preference yesterday for streamlined binders. But I cannot quite shake the worry that mine will look too skimpy next to my Type A colleagues' submissions. I'm pretty sure that being ahead of the game on pubs will cover a multitude of sins -- but only pretty sure.

Comments

[mary d]

G went up for promotion this year, as did my boss. Both of them said that it was a LOT of work to get the binders together and that if they weren't promoted, so be it, they would stay associate till they died because they didn't want to have to do The Binder again. I do not understand why you would have to do The Binder for mid-term review. Overachievers with their fat binders make the ones doing what they are supposed to be doing look bad. They are the ones in the wrong, not you.

[L - Mama(e) in Translation]

You will be FINE!!!! And you know, I have to thank you from the bottom of my heart for the matter-of-fact way that you talk about your academic life that does NOT make me feel bad and upset about my own thorny situation.

Just last night a former blogger friend (extremely successful professor at U of Delaware) posted a link to an article from Inside Higher Ed with a list of seven things that are great about academic life (which I didn't read) and pulled a short paragraph from the article. The short paragraph and title of article pushed me over the edge and I wrote a bitter comment (with the proper apologies), but you NEVER make me feel bitter. Maybe it's because I know you well from the thousands upon thousands of words you've written, but I think it's just that you are truly humble and a person truly led by spiritual motivations in life and that makes a HUGE difference.

I think that also explains the difference between your binder and your colleagues. You are an excellent professional, but you have your priority straight. God and family come first. Thanks for your good example and for being the tenure track friend that doesn't ever make me feel bad (my husband generally doesn't, but he my constant bitterness aggravates him. I'm mostly OK, but I had particularly thorny semester.

P.S. I suppose I've written almost thousands of words in comments too, no? ;-)

[Gina]

You will be fine! More than fine! You will be giving them exactly what they have asked for, and they will be thrilled, and you will get tenure. And then, you must celebrate, because that is huge and you have worked so very hard. I'm praying for you, not because you need any help at all, but so that you will feel confident in tying up those loose ends and submitting!

[Marcie]

Dr. Gladly,

AFTER you have completed the binder portion of this review (on which you will excel!), please contact me for the story of the final exam at the University of Iowa on which I followed the instructions - and no one else did.

Sincerely,

Still a Little Bitter