She who sings brays twice

Am I pseudonymous enough to write this post? I hope so, because I'm writing it anyway.

You guys, for years I have struggled with the music at our church. There are so so so many things I love about our parish, but the music has never been one of them. I wrote a little teeny bit about it years ago (that Liberace reference pretty much sums up my objections). Recently our pastor announced (very kindly, with much gratitude for her service) that the music director would be stepping down. Am I pseudonymous enough to say that I wanted to cheer? That I didn't want to hear Hosea or other refugee songs from the 70s at Mass even one more time? That it's frustrating to attempt to lead the singing of O Come, All Ye Faithful and be unable to figure out where I'm supposed to come in or where the beat is supposed to fall?

Since 2006 I have been a cantor for my parish. I have sung about once a month with one of the organists, figuring out music that fits with the readings and makes us both happy. (Only once, on Christmas, was the music director at the organ; that was the day when I thought, "If I can't figure out O Come All Ye Faithful, something is really wrong here.") I can learn the music on my own time and show up half an hour before Mass to rehearse the bits and pieces that are unfamiliar. I never ever have to sing Gift of Finest Wheat or anything penned by David Haas. It's been a great way to keep the musical part of my brain humming while respecting my family's needs.

This is not my most becoming admission, but I just didn't get it when people were sad about the music director's departure. Bring in the new! Three cheers for an end to relentless arpeggiating! 

And then last week there was an announcement in the bulletin: no more cantor/organ Masses. Each Mass will have its own ensemble; all ensembles will have a weeknight practice. All musicians are required to audition in order to continue as part of the music ministry, and then they'll be assigned to the ensemble that's the best fit for them.

This announcement sparked some exclamation-pointy emails among the cantors and organists. We were supposed to get some advance notice, apparently, instead of learning about the change through the bulletin. For whatever reason, those phone calls didn't happen.

I don't want to act aggrieved here. I have a lot of confidence in our pastor's judgment. But I am also unhappy with my options. I am very cautious about taking on weeknight commitments. And this may not be my most becoming admission either, but I feel cautious about spending my free time singing music entirely selected by someone else. Life is too short to rehearse Let There Be Peace On Earth. By and large, Christian music is a depressing indicator that Sturgeon's law is optimistic.

So. I am keenly aware of the irony here: late May thoughts of "Why are all these people grumbling about the pastor's decision?" followed by early June thoughts of "Why did the pastor make this decision that I don't like one bit?" I missed the organizational meeting on Wednesday, and I mislaid the bulletin with the information on scheduling an audition. At the same time, the thought of not being involved at all in parish music makes me sad.

I guess I'll just complain about the situation on my blog instead. How's that for a productive approach?

Comments

[gina]

Because I am spiritually immature (I'm actually meeting a nun about this on Tuesday...I am really struggling in the faith department), this would make me cringe and cry, and probably leave the parish. I know this sounds horrible...but it's true. I truly hope all works out, and you can give your beautiful gift in a way that fits with your parish's intentions.

[MrsDarwin]

Our parish has five masses a weekend. The song selection is the same for every mass. Two are "choir" masses, which means that there is some kind of basic ensemble, and that the earlier one is the more traditional, while the later one has a trumpet, guitar, flute, and sometimes drums (along with the organ). The earliest Sunday mass has no music. The Saturday afternoon and the last Sunday mass are cantor masses, which means that one person is the primary singer, no matter who else may show up in the choir loft because they're attending that mass.

When I sing, I'm almost always the cantor for the latest mass. I can't choose most of the music (which is generally okay -- we run to three mostly traditional hymns a week and one contemporary), but I have standing permission to choose my own post-communion hymn, which is always a cappella and usually Gregorian chant. I know that there is one group which also books the late mass and gets permission to change one or two of the hymns, usually to something CCM, so I think that I could have permission to switch out the hymns if I okayed it with the music director and worked with the organist. I'd really like to lead an a cappella mass sometime, but I just haven't put in the necessary time on the phone or with email to make it happen.

It is possible that if you jump through some hoops now you'll have more of a power position when you want to make changes. Also, you might talk to your pastor and see what his angle is on all this. Perhaps he's also dealing with behind the scenes politics and this was the best way to ensure that a better music situation was in place. (Imagine if there were less orthodox cantors wanting to take over a mass!) It could be that the rigid guidelines now might ease up later as the new standard gets established, and perhaps your proven musicianship will stand you in good stead so you can skip the auditions or have a bit more say in which choir you end up in, or perhaps they'll make an exception to weekly practice for you.

Be of good cheer!

[el-e-e]

Very productive! This was such an entertaining post. ;) Could we please be best friends?

If it were me, I would take it all as a sign that I deserve a rest from my service in music ministry for a while. But I wish you had different/better options.

My Mom always reminds me, when I threaten to quit choirs (or do quit), "The congregation needs good singers, too, in the midst of them, helping them along..."