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April 09, 2015


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You know... I think it was very courageous and admirable of you to speak up. Even if he didn't mean it at all (which could be the case, it's good to give him the benefit of the doubt), it's important for young men to learn to be careful with their words and learn not to make misogynistic remarks. Let's hope this was a lesson for him and now that you spoke your mind (didn't take your resentment home to bed as the Scriptures recommend) and shook hands with him you can pray for him wholeheartedly and be forgiven for your previous thoughts about him.

I would have ignored it and walked on but I think it's great that you didn't. Sounds to me like he meant it the way you heard it but it didn't occur to him what that could sound like - if that makes sense. Your feedback should help make him more mindful of his words in the future.

What Mama(e) in Translation said.

I just had an experience last week at a professional conference where I was moderating a technical break-out session. The session leader, a man in his 50s, welcomed the audience with a joke that involved a naked woman making a sexual offer.

The next day I used my facebook friends to crowdsource a constructive e-mail to the joke teller, in the hopes that he might refrain from using such material for a large, diverse audience.

He responded today with "thank you for your comments" which I will choose to take as an acceptance of the critique. I am very, very glad you said something to that frat boy.

I don't remember that line specifically in American Pie but I don't doubt it was in the movie... and he had to know exactly what it connotes. However, I also know boys that age (all ages??) love to just quote movies. All. The. Time. So maybe he really wasn't thinking of the meaning, just saying it by rote, to be funny, because it related to the football in his hand. Maybe?

Still, I'm impressed with both of you for how it concluded. :)

I my experience, no matter what is said later, if you felt it was off and inappropriate, that's because it was. As women we are always taught to give the benefit of the doubt even in the face of clear evidence of if not ill intent, certainly skeezy intent. And if no one ever calls him on it, or at least how his words and actions can be interpreted, how is he ever going to learn consequences?

I'm with Amy. You should trust your instincts and even IF he wasn't aware of what he was saying (which I doubt) or he thought it wasn't "that big of a deal", it was a good opportunity to educate him and make him more aware of other people's perspectives. It also shows him that even random women are actual, real people and deserve respect and not to be treated like anonymous actors in a play in which he is the star. If either of my sons act in that piggish manner, heaven forbid, I hope they are enlightened in a similar manner.

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