Danielle Meitiv's comment hits close to home: "CPS has finally succeeded in making me terrified to let my kids out unsupervised," she says. "I'm afraid they're going to take them away." That's a lot like what I said in 2008: that the neighbor who reported me to CPS had sparked a series of events that my kids all found far more stressful than being told to walk home alone.
What happens with the Meitivs' kids remains to be seen. For my own part, I get weary of pushing back. Do you remember last fall, when the soccer coach didn't want Pete to walk home from practice? We haven't fought that battle this season. Some of it was that he needed someone to walk him through the route a time or two, because it's not a park we visit much these days. But really, it was mostly about the grownups. Having my judgment repeatedly questioned is frustrating, and wearying, and...it's easier just to jump in the car.
I am typing that and thinking, "What a horrible defeatist attitude! Aren't you supposed to be pushing back?" But here's the reality: sometimes it's hard to be the only kid who's walking home. Sometimes it's hard to be that kid's parent. Sometimes there is only so much space in my head.
I left a comment on a Facebook post about the Meitivs, challenging a commenter who said she had no sympathy at all for them. Six-plus hours of needless worry, hungry kids, frantic parents -- but nobody in that scenario deserves sympathy. They should have listened to the authorities, you know.
Meanwhile my 6-year-old and my 10-year-old walk themselves to and from school every day, almost always unaccompanied by an adult. Sometimes when I imagine someone reporting me for negligence based on that decision I think, "Go ahead. Bring it." Mostly, though, I think, "Please don't. Just don't, okay?"
This story has really been a don't-read-the-comments situation for me. It's the attack of Bad Things Only Happen To Bad People all over again.
Posted by: bearing | April 27, 2015 at 09:56 PM
YES, I agree that it's a "don't read the comments" situation! I think I actually found out about this story from you (on facebook? maybe?). Anyway... It's OUTRAGEOUS that children and parents don't have the freedom to do small things like these nowadays. It's definitely too much interference of neighbors and police in other people's lives! How can we push back? apparently it's not possible? :-(
Posted by: L - Mama(e) in Translation | April 27, 2015 at 11:09 PM
I truly think there is a time to push back and a also a time to look at things from a different point of view. Knowing the story, I think the family pushed back a bit too much. They knew they were a target for the authorities...why not pull back just a bit, making a case but not having to prove it oh so much. My son will say at this is my 40 year old self talking, as he reminds me that my 20 year old self was a bit of a renegade (Lol)...but I also remember that my 20 year old self was scared to. Why put yourself in danger of losing your children just to make a point? However, I respect their bravery in fighting this fight.
Posted by: Gina | April 28, 2015 at 06:30 AM
There is so much emphasis on "college and career ready" in my kids' school system. But no one talks about "life ready."
Posted by: Jennifer Thorson | April 28, 2015 at 06:48 AM
Last year I moved into a sort of urban neighborhood near a college campus. I'm 4 blocks away from the road that is considered sort of a dividing line between "safe" and "not safe" although there is plenty of petty theft on the "safe" side too. Anyway, I'm a block and a half from a playground (west of it..so just as far from the "line"). I thought that my 10-year-old would be able to play there a lot, but it turns out that other local families don't seem to be comfortable letting their kids play there without an adult. This is partly the Meitiv-type issue combined with a "sketchy neighborhood" issue, but I don't see how we can ever make it less sketchy if we don't do the things that people do in non-sketchy neighborhoods! It really bothers me. Totally with you on this!
Posted by: giddy | April 28, 2015 at 09:05 AM
"Why put yourself in danger of losing your children just to make a point?"
I've already had a couple of people pull the thing where they go "I'm going to avoid engaging your real point by pretend that you were horribly inappropriate to compare two things that are only similar in the relevant aspect but otherwise dissimilar" on this, but: If people were never willing to put their families at personal risk to "make a point," many of the advances of the civil rights era would never have happened.
Posted by: bearing | April 28, 2015 at 09:16 AM
True...but there is a difference between making a point yourself and using your children to make a point.
Posted by: Gina | April 28, 2015 at 11:12 AM