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November 20, 2013


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I think about death and dying A LOT. In a very matter-of-fact way, actually. I haven't planned my funeral and we don't have wills or guardians or anything of the sort. I know, BAD, right? But we truly are comfortable with pretty much anyone in both our families caring for our boys. We do have some life-insurance through our jobs. As for wills... I don't know, we don't have much and hopefully it will all go to the boys? I'll be ok to read funereal thoughts, though it is a pretty depressing subject. Sigh...

Fine with me. I think it might be a good thread, since so few people start talking about death unless they are staring it in the face, one way or another.

We did our wills and updated our legal guardianship papers last year, but have been procrastinating on our health-care directives. All written up, still waiting to be signed and witnessed. Maybe a funereal thread will give me the kick in the pants I need.

Dh and I have been discussing this on and off over the last year, but nothing is resolved yet. It came up again recently during the general open enrollment, as basic life insurance is part of the enrollment buffet. So I would appreciate a discussion.... Kick in the pants, as Bearing says.

Speaking as a recently-minted widow, I will say that good life insurance is an amazing and wonderful thing. It buys you time to make decisions and makes it possible to continue to pursue some of the life you had planned together. I'm so grateful we enrolled when we got married, and I have now made sure that there is sufficient insurance to support my children should, God forbid, something happen to me.

Know each other's passwords. This will make things so much easier.

Jamie, I don't think a conversation about funeral-planning is grisly at all. Death is a part of life, and the conversations that my late husband and I had had made my decisions after his sudden death so much simpler. I didn't have to think about what he would have wanted because I already knew.

Having really comprehensive life insurance is a big peace-of-mind item for me. It was a major part of our discussion as we prepared to transition to my new life as a SAHM. I liked having the "what will I do to support us if you get hit by a bus?" question resolved. And even though I'm not the breadwinner, we also have a sizable policy on me -- because I do contribute a lot financially by schooling the kids, and if I were to get hit by the bus instead, different arrangements would get made.

Of course, if DH gets permanently disabled instead of outright killed, then we don't get anything. So when he goes out west on rock climbing trips, we joke that he is allowed to be hit by very small rocks and by very large ones, but he has to try to avoid the medium ones.

My husband and I have been working on getting some of the big ducks in a row: life insurance, updated will, etc. There's more to be done there, but some of the biggest (provision for our son) are handled.

Funeral? Well, I know what music I want, and which of my buddies from my old music ministry I want to do which harmony lines, if they outlive me. Fortunately, they don't think that's wierd: if anything, we're all on each other's lists.

Ooh, I just read http://commonhealth.wbur.org/2013/11/diy-death-natural-home-funerals the other day and was very intrigued. Of course it appeals to me that they frame it as similar to home birth, just the other end of the life cycle!

So sorry about cancer taking another person from your life so quickly, and too soon.

We have life insurance and directives but haven't thought much more about it. Kevin's life insurance premiums are very high for not so much insurance because he's less than 10 years out of cancer (stage 3 esophageal when he was 29).

Leigh Ann wants karaoke at her funeral...which I think might be a good idea!

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