After my overly dramatic post last night, it dawned on me that I was needlessly stressed about the seaming. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to get the ear pieces to fit in their spots because of row gauge issues, and after multiple readings I had not been able to figure out what the snout seaming instructions were telling me to do. I'm still not sure I understand what the designer intended, but I have a plan that will work. And after I posted, I put on a Call The Midwife episode and started seaming the first ear piece. Which, mysteriously, slotted right into place with a minimum of fuss.
This discovery caused me to realize that I probably would not die of tentacles, and end-weaving hasn't killed me yet. Drama-- I started to say "drama over," but let's be realistic here: drama damped down for the time being.
If there were one trait I could uproot forever in myself, it might be my tendency to think hyperventilate-y thoughts about how I won't be able to do whatever it is that I am hoping to do. Tomorrow is my third son's birthday, and I was reminiscing with him tonight about his arrival. I'll never know if it was experience or environment (it was my first homebirth) or a combination, but for the first time I was able to lean in when the contractions struck, instead of holding back in fear that I wouldn't have what it took to get through. (Maybe Our Lady of the VIsitation, whose intercession I had sought for weeks before the birth while simultaneously thinking "But surely the baby will have arrived by the feast day," made a difference too.)
I've been using the Run Less, Run Faster intermediate training plan in recent weeks, and the mid-tempo runs are kicking my butt. I'm enjoying the intervals; the short-tempo runs are hard but satisfying. But I've made three attempts to do the 3.5-mile mid-tempo run, and each time I get tangled up in my own mind games. It's not that I'm about to throw up. It's not that I'm about to fall over. I just get worried that I won't be able to do it and then I can't do it any longer.
Maybe I need to watch a Call The Midwife episode at the gym. Or get over myself, maybe.
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