1. Dear October Jamie: Every minute you spend planting bulbs will be repaid tenfold in spring enjoyment. Watching those rumpled little tulip leaves unfurl = MAGIC.
2. Dear Gremlins: I don't really mind that you are visiting my children's dressers by night, and I understand you have families to feed like the rest of us. But why do are the knees of their jeans the choicest tidbits? Do they go into some gremlin delicacy, like shark fin soup for fairy folk?
3. Dear Reviewer 1: The more I read your review, the crazier it makes me. This cover letter is going to require unprecedented levels of tact and diplomacy, because it ought to say "R1 was CLEARLY HIGH while writing his summary."
4. Dear February Jamie: That manuscript revision is actually due April 9, not May 9. Yours helpfully, Very Busy Early April Jamie
5. Dear Gremlins, part 2: I just had an idea! Maybe your gremlin babies don't eat the knees of my kids' jeans. Maybe you are harvesting the bits worn to softness so you can line your nests in preparation for the babies' arrival. That idea so charms me that I won't even complain about the astonishing proliferation of kneeless jeans around here.
6. Dear Kids: Spring break has been over for a week now. Time to get to bed at a normal hour. Time to remember your homework. Time to give it a rest with the video game. Two months until summer.
7. Dear Daffodils: Hello! Hello! Welcome! So nice to see you! Also: it's about time!
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