Weed Where You're Planted

I have an idea. You know how we're supposed to bloom where you're planted? It's easier to bloom if you don't have to deal with weeds. I love my little yellow house. I don't want to move. Occasionally, on the very worst days, I have fleeting thoughts about blowing it up and cackling at the flames, but they pass quickly. Still, there are lots of things that bug me about this house.

I am guessing that some of you might feel the same way about your houses, am I right? So here's my idea: what if we crowd-source our frustrations? What if we were to have Weed Where You're Planted Wednesdays, and post about a problem area and possible solutions? A chance to vent, a chance to problem-solve, a chance to make our homes a little more homey and a little less napalm-worthy.

(That is totally the next realtor buzzword: Very low napalm-worthiness!)

Here is an example of what I'm talking about. When you come in our back door carrying things, the most natural place to put them down is on the butcher block in the kitchen. This behavior causes my inner Gollum to caper about, shrieking "Paper clutter! We hates it forever!" Papers get lost. Papers get stained with food. The space available for food prep in our tiny kitchen is diminished. Do. Not. Like. (You might notice that unattractive collection of junk on the shelf above the butcher block. Objectively, it is uglier. And yet it bothers me not a whit. Foolish consistency, hobgoblin, little minds, etc.)

I have considered a number of possible solutions to this problem, but the one I keep coming back to is installing a portcullis that would slam down on the paper-setter-downer's arm. An alarm would sound. A blinky sign would flash "Put it where it belongs. Now."

My husband frowns on the portcullis idea, and not just because he suspects I would ask him to help with the installation. He says people need a place to put things when they first walk in the door. And that's true; they do. My objection is that even after they take off their shoes and hang up their coats, they leave the Boy Scout manual/school newsletter/crossword puzzle in situ until the Paper Fairy happens by.

So here's what I'm thinking:

1. Part of the problem is the lack of sorting. Maybe it's okay to leave papers there that need maternal action or decisions, because I hate having papers there so much that it will spur me to act and decide.

2. Part of the problem is the lack of space for other people's papers. I could clear out a bin that's currently full of dismembered books awaiting repair, and my husband's crossword puzzles could go there. I could talk with my two older boys about paper storage options for their rooms. At present there's no good place for them to keep their own papers.

3. Part of the problem is that I keep swooping in and playing Paper Fairy. (I'm more a Fanged Ogre than a Fairy, really. I don't mind the dishes and I don't mind the laundry, but dealing with the paper reliably triggers my napalm fantasies.) Maybe there needs to be some kind of consequence for leaving the Boy Scout manual on the butcher block. If I keep cleaning up other people's messes, I am only teaching them to leave the messes for me.

Any other thoughts for me? Do you have a collection of weird odds and ends in your own kitchen, and does it bother you? Any interest in a WWYP Wednesday as a semi-regular thing?