Kathy asked for tips on navigating the bus system with little ones in tow, and I have a few.
1. Routine is your friend. Just as your kids learn the drill with riding in the car, they can learn the routine with riding in the bus: we get on, mom pays the fare, we sit down, we stash the stroller, we talk about the stuff we see, we keep our hands to ourselves, we get permission to push the "stop requested" button, and we hold onto mom while we're getting off. In fact, they can learn more quickly because you can sit beside them, teaching and correcting, instead of having your back to them while you operate a moving vehicle. My oldest was 21 months old when we moved to Edinburgh and began taking buses everywhere. He was a rowdy little 21-month-old, but I have only pleasant memories of those early months on the bus -- seeing the sights, talking about the billboards, spotting trucks and machinery together. Don't be discouraged by a chaotic first outing or two.
2. The bus driver can be your friend. Most bus drivers are good eggs. They may flip the handicapped ramp down for you so you can push the stroller right up. They will probably tell you it's fine to sit in the handicapped seats as long as no wheelchair users need them. (In my experience, most bus systems outside major metropolitan areas are underused, so drivers can be flexible about things like that.) You may be able to keep the toddler strapped right in the stroller, using the wheelchair space, so you don't have to fold and stash the stroller and reverse the process when you get off. Bus drivers are accustomed to dealing with people who need patience for one reason or another, and most of them would rather be patient with the courteous mother of young children than the conspicuously drunk, loud, and confused college student.
3. You can often depend on the kindness of strangers. Of course you want to be able to handle things yourself, but I have been pleasantly surprised over the years at how welcoming and accommodating other riders have been on mass transit. People may offer to scoot over so you can sit together. People may help your child to get seated and stay seated while you fold up the stroller and get it on the rack. They may intercept (nicely) a toddler who zips down the aisle while you are paying the fare. They will very often jump up to help you get down the stroller from an overhead rack as you prepare to get off. Of course there are exceptions, but I have received more help from strangers than I ever would have imagined.
4. Insularity is not your friend. In contrast to your car, where you control the music and the company and the conversation, you are going to run into weirdness on the bus. There will be occasional profane or inappropriate conversations; there will be strongly expressed opinions that you strongly disagree with. I once read a blog post in which a mother forbade her child to read the bumper stickers in a Whole Foods parking lot because "those people are crazy." That kind of attitude will only lead to misery on mass transit. Mass transit is there for the masses, some of whom smell bad or look funny. You can view it as an opportunity to learn about the least of these, or as a reason to take the car next time. Up to you.
I've never had to get an 18-month-old and a newborn onto the bus at the same, because my kids are all 3 years apart. My strategy in that situation would look something like this:
1. Plan ahead. Find out how much the fare is, and have exact change ready to go so there's no fumbling at the fare box. Sling the newborn securely and have a lightweight umbrella stroller that you can lift onto the bus easily and fold one-handed.
2. Prevent chaos. Keep the toddler buckled in the stroller while you pay the fare and wheel him to your seats. You can pen him in the seat with your body while you collapse the stroller and put it on the rack.
3. Pack light. Strip non-essentials out of the diaper bag and bring home fewer library books than usual. It's easier to be cranky if you're doing something unfamiliar and hauling a giant bag. The goal is...
4. ...Have fun! You don't have to reach behind you blindly to meet a need -- you can sit face to face. You can see the sights in your own town as a passenger, through the eyes of your little one. You don't have to park, you don't have to worry about rude drivers, you can just sit back and let someone else get you there -- and pay for the fuel, too.
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