Still crunchy after all these years

Bearing-Erin wrote a fun post about how her former crunchy self and her current crunchy self align, and I've been thinking about it this weekend. I had very strong opinions about the right way to do things when I was expecting my first child, and I fear my 1996 self would not entirely approve of my 2011 self. My 2011 self thinks my 1996 self was perhaps a wee bit uptight.

Still Crunchy

• Long-haul breastfeeding
• No commercial baby food -- baby-friendly table food instead
• Co-sleeping. (Stella sleeps alone until she wakes up, and co-sleeps thereafter.)
• Babywearing
• NFP (ditto what Erin said)

Even Crunchier

• I've learned a lot about gentle discipline since 1996. My kids know that I expect to be listened to, and I know not to flip out if they need to be reminded. Mostly.
• Homebirth FTW. No placentophagy, though.
• I grow (some of) my own veggies and herbs.
• I have a little compost heap.
• We can afford to buy some organic food and humanely raised eggs now.

Decrunchified And Okay With It

• Farewell, homeschooling.
• Cloth:disposable diaper ratio runs about 20:1 right now.
• My 2yo goes to preschool (a lovely, lovely preschool where kindness reigns and where she loves to be, but 1996 me would have been appalled).
• The reason she goes to preschool is that I work part-time.
• I'm thinking about applying for a full-time job for next year. (1996 Jamie frantically attempts to ward off the evil eye. 1996 Jamie had drunk deeply of the Kippley Kool-Aid, which drew a straight line between maternal employment and teen suicide.)
• I use the childcare room at the gym. And on Wednesday? I went to pick up Stella and she said she'd like to stay longer. 1996 Jamie would have seen this as a certain sign of bonding failure.

Borrowing Erin's Classification of Theoretically Committed, But No Longer Able To Figure Out How To Do It, Ergo Constant Feelings of Inadequacy

• "No TV or videos for kids under six" -- if you had told me that in 2011 my 2yo would routinely spend more time in an evening watching videos than being read to, I might have thought my future self should be shot before she could head down such a path of destruction.
• "We don't eat that much sugar or packaged food" -- I used to look upon breakfast cereal with scorn, and now my kids eat it ~4 days/week. For about a 2-year stretch my pantry contained no white flour, no white rice, no white sugar -- now, not so much. On the upside, I cook a lot more veggies than I did in 1996.

I think I am happier as a mother now that I'm not so worried about living up to somebody else's standards. I think a lot (A LOT) about the employment question. But-- I love my job. My kids are generally happy in school and at home. The house is not very tidy, but then it wasn't very tidy in 1996 either.

Comments

[Karen Edmisten]

Oh, Jamie, I just kinda love you.

[Celeste]

I only have one child, and my pregnant self really did mean well, but...Crunchy doesn't live here.

[mary d]

This was awesome. It's good to know that I'm not the only one that the standards change. And it's good for YOU to leave the baby somewhere every now and again and do something for yourself. :)

Celeste, you are awesome too. Not much crunchy in my house either.

[Bearing]

Thank you for writing this post.

N ow what about the rest of you reading this? Huh?

[Pippi]

I love this post! I often wonder how I'll look back at myself 10 years from now. So far with child #2 co-sleeping is ending much sooner. Part of it is her and part of it is definitely me and my husband. We need sleep and space and co-sleeping just isn't working now that the baby's a year old. I still plan on breastfeeding as long as she wants, though, and if I have another it will definitely be a homebirth (as long as I'm not risked out, of course).

I have a post request for you, too, Jamie. I'd love to hear about how you made the decision about moving from homeschooling to public schooling and how the transition was for you and your kids. My oldest is scheduled to start full day K next year. At age 4. I'm hesitant about both options. I know my circumstances are different from yours but It would be great to hear from an experienced mother who's done both.

[rachel]

OK, this is fun.
SC:
*natural childbirth
*toddler nursing

EC:
*baking my own bread on a regular basis
*growing veg and fruit, on ever-increasing proportions
* building the house and furniture maintaining it by ourselves, from recycled materials
* no new clothes. OK, so it's mainly driven by budget/laziness, but I'm still counting it.
* babies + kids at home, with me, for ever-increasing lengths of time.

De-C:
*Ice cream and lollipops are now an integral and crucial part of summer. And that's the way they should be. Ditto for fries with salt and ketchup after swimming lessons.

Theo. Com. ==> perp.Ina.
* sewing, at least the curtains. Can't won't shan't - but I still think I should.
* free-range eggs. If I cared enough we could make the budget work.
* eating (a lot) less meat. The eager expression on the cubs' faces when supper involves meat does me in every time.
*Equal night-time parenting duties. Went flying out the window within 4 months of parenthood.
*toddlers should not eat earth. Nothing to do with crunchiness, but I am theoretically committed and I can't make it work.

And from this we can conclude that I am slowly baking into crunchiness, but am still very limp.

[gina]

Love this posting....
I often look back at how I've changed as well, and wonder what type of mom I would be with another child (and a husband...).

In all other areas, I guess I'm still crunchy (although we do have a tv now...and I have a bit of a reality tv habit that I try to rationalize as passive ethnographic observation :)