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Can I get a crossbow if I promise to feed it every day and change its water and take it for walks?

Well, will you pay for its crossbow immunizations too?

Can't you help me a little bit with those? They're expensive. Maybe just a regular bow, then.

Nice try, Calvin. [Remember the Calvin strip where he asks for, I don't know, a pet velociraptor, and then a pet jaguar, and finally a puppy, or something like that? My kids think that's a great trick.]

A bow will be very useful for the zombie invasion. [Lengthy explanation of why arrows are especially useful against zombies.]

Not a fan of that idea.

Well, you'll be sorry you didn't listen to me when the zombies get you.

You can say, "I told you so, Mom."

But you won't be able to hear me if your ears have fallen off because the zombies got you.

You'll be a modern-day Cassandra.

From Greek mythology?

Yeah, she was cursed. She was always right and no one ever believed her.

That is the story of my life.