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January 23, 2011


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oh dear. I'm praying for you and the whole sleep problem. We had them too and it's so hard! Please pray for my SIL too -- they did IUI today. I really like your point about the whole self-discipline issue taking away from the real important point: a relationship with Jesus.

praying for sleep! I could use some as well - not feeling great and also feeling incredibly stressed by external things. lack of sleep will make it all worse - but haven't been able to yet tonight.

As someone who has been surrounded by sick kids and a congested co-sleeping baby, I understand the craziness that bad sleep brings.

I hope you're able to find some answers.

Good night!

I definitely know what you mean about the to-do lists. Sometimes disorganization and laziness are the problem, and a to-do list helps. Other times life needs to be something more than endlessly trying to stay a few steps ahead of things.

Or, as I put it on a blog post some time ago, it doesn't go "Blessed are the efficient, for they shall get all their paperwork in on time."

Sounds like some of my own discernment over the past year. I'm a SAHM and homeschooler, but I find it's still easy to spend so much time "at work" that I don't have time for my kids. Remarkable, that.

Very insightful.

St. Therese of Liseux was convinced that God does not love us more the more "perfect" we are...

just the opposite...

the more "imperfect" we are the more he comes to us with his grace and love and consolation...

good luck with the sleep deprivation, it kick my butt even more now that I am "fortysomething"!

"overemphasizing self-discipline and to-do lists can be a form of idolatry."

Whoa. Deep good thought.

I never comment, but this post hit me right where I live. I feel more righteous if I've got all my ducks in a row. Yikes, not good.

"It's like I'm teetering between two errors. I can't be the person I'm called to be if sloth is grabbing me by the scruff of the neck. I also can't be the person I'm called to be if I am narrowly focused on efficiency. The computer and the to-do list are both good servants, bad masters."

Oh Jamie, this one hit me right between the eyes! You say it so well those are definitely the two errors I teeter between as well. On the days when I am so proud of myself for how much housework I got through, how many things I checked off the list, I can usually discern a trail of tears streaming behind my efficient self. Children who had to beg and plead for my attention and me snapping at them because they are hampering my efficiency are the least of the problems on those days.

And I've been having one of those days today. So far I've accomplished baking two loaves of bread, washing and drying and folding and sorting about four loads of laundry, sweeping the kitchen and tidying the kids' room. And screaming and yelling until I was almost hoarse... about what I no longer remember. I know things must get done but how to do them with a peaceful heart... I'm still trying to learn that.

Thinking of you and hoping that the toddler gives you a break. It's so, so hard to be on top of anything when you're sleep deprived.

I'm also thinking about you said. I'm not religious but I've also been struggling with work vs. play recently. I've been working so hard in the last year to improve my housekeeping and to just get it done instead of make excuses (I'm REALLY good at making excuses). I've gotten so much better, but if I work too hard I end up with a very clean house while I snap at my husband and daughter and get frustrated with my baby. I don't want to go back to living in a mess but you've brought into focus that cultivating those relationships needs to stay the number one goal...

Computer: Mine crashed Sunday. Lost everything on it. And I woke up Monday morning feeling...free. I got my prayers done, schooling, read a book. Me and the kids all took a nap. It was a beautiful day. And i started to toy around with the idea of not replacing the computer.

But then I was reading Gilead--about how writing is a sort of a moral will we leave our kids. And I was sort of glad that some of my writing at least, has survived my computer crash, because it's on the blog.

Anyway--my husband came home from work with a new laptop for me. And here I am again--online, wasting time.

Good servant, bad master.

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