My pal Steve became a dad for the first time in July, and yesterday I got a message from him about his son, who has been biting while nursing. I sent him a speedy reply with a promise of more info soon, but I thought the topic might make a useful blog post.
Biting: Why?
There are three main reasons why nurslings bite. The biggest, especially in a 6-month-old, is teething discomfort. Erupting teeth hurt. Counterpressure helps.
Sometimes biting is related to starting solids and related milk supply issues. Most babies begin showing interest in solids around the middle of the first year, and biting can be a way of saying, "Hey, is there anything else to eat around here?" A variation on this scenario occurs when mom starts solids earlier, and her milk supply drops a bit too quickly as baby nurses less.
A third reason, more common in older babies and toddlers, is unhappiness. Sometimes babies get bored with nursing, especially when mom is trying to put them to sleep. A little nip can be an effective antidote to boredom because it provokes such an interesting reaction. Sometimes toddlers get overloaded -- angry or frustrated -- and bite as a way to say that something's not right in the world.
Biting: What To Do
If baby is biting because his gums hurt, easing the pain will usually reduce or eliminate the biting. Try a teether that can go in the freezer, or a frozen washcloth. (Last night autocorrect turned "frozen teethers" into "frozen terriers" in my message to Steve. Please don't feed your baby frozen terriers.) If you've started solids, try stripping baby down to his diaper and giving him a frozen banana with which to wreak havoc (and, incidentally, numb his gums). Don't forget the stripping down part, or you will be hitting that piece of clothing with buckets of OxyClean and despair. Consider over-the-counter pain reliever if your baby is really uncomfortable.
If you haven't yet started solids with a baby who's around six months old, you could think about trying tastes of mashed banana or sweet potato. Some crunchy parents think that a longer stretch of exclusive breastfeeding must be better than a mere six months, but babies are wired to begin exploring other foods around the six-month mark. (Give or take. Allergy-prone babies may consistently refuse solids at that point.) If you have been enthusiastic about solids and your milk supply has dropped as a result, try some low-key measures to boost supply. Start with breast massage beforehand and breast compression during feedings, and see if that seems to make a difference. Try shorter, more frequent nursings, gently cutting baby off before he has time to bite. Do not -- really, do not -- get all stressed out about your milk supply. It's less likely that you have a sudden big milk supply crisis than that your baby has figured out a new way to get your attention pronto so he can express mild dissatisfaction.
If baby is unhappy, think about why. If boredom is the issue, are you sure he's really tired? Can you try something else to put him to sleep, like rocking or walking or swaying with him in a baby carrier? With an overwhelmed toddler, it can help if you address whatever's making him unhappy, and offer empathy, and teach words/signs like "mad" and "frustrated" and "grumpy."
Regardless of the cause of the biting, it's often preventable. Keep an eye on that little tongue, which should be visibly cupping the breast. To use the lower incisors for biting, baby has to retract the tongue. This gives you an opportunity to unlatch him before you get chomped. If biting is a chronic thing at the end of feeings, try slipping the baby off when his sucking slows down. (The very hardest kind of biting to deal with is the baby who clenches inadvertently as he's easing into sleep. Five children of my own and ten years helping breastfeeding dyads, and I'm still stumped by that one. Ideas welcome, because OUCH I hate that!)
If you miss the cues and baby clamps down, try a completely counterintuitive move: pull him in as close as possible to your breast. If his nose is buried in breast tissue, he'll let go so he can breathe more comfortably. Sounds weird, but it usually works. Be firm but gentle: "OUCH, that hurts Mama. Let's take a little break from nursing." Babies are smarter than we think they are, and they'll usually catch on quickly that biting Mama means no more milk for a bit.
In general, I think it's prudent to moderate one's reaction to a bite. If you have a sensitive baby, you can really frighten him if you yell. On the other hand, some babies think it's interesting to get such a rise out of a usually calm mama and may bite because it elicits a big reaction. I have had both kinds of babies, and so I'll say it again: firm but gentle is the way to go.
To sum up: biting in a younger baby is usually tied to something physical. Biting in an older baby or a toddler may have a physical cause or it may be more complicated. It used to infuriate me to be bitten by a child I thought was old enough to know better, but these days I see it with different eyes. I think it it means, "Something is wrong and I know you can fix it. You're the one who can help when I'm really upset. I'm safe with you."
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