For the most part, my kids haven't been in CCD [religious education for kids who don't go to Catholic school], a state of affairs which pushes my guilt button. See, I can't help thinking in my secret heart that if I were a Really Excellent Mom I would homeschool again, and handle religious ed myself in a systematic way. My secret heart also thinks that if I were a Pretty Awesome Mom then I would figure out a way to put four kids (four unwilling kids) in Catholic school and they would get religious ed in a systematic way at school. Instead I am just an Ordinary Mom whose kids go to public school. And then I don't send them to CCD.
I've been ambivalent about CCD for a long time. It kind of has to be a lowest common denominator program, because it serves the whole parish. The downside to a lowest common denominator program is that when kids come in from families who are -- oh my HECK I have re-written this sentence too many times trying not to sound smug and failing -- families who are really striving to live the faith, those kids may not learn a lot in CCD.
When we homeschooled, I was fairly ambitious in what I wanted my kids to learn about their faith. At that point I was reasonably confident that I was covering the bases. Even after we stopped homeschooling, I wasn't convinced that I should send them to CCD. If you send kids to a program designed to teach them about their faith and they don't learn anything there, is the take-home message that they have nothing to learn about their faith? Because that's a bad take-home message. I'm not going to shell out the money and scramble to get there at a tricky time in order to send that message.
At the same time, I'm not reading Deuteronomy aloud these days.
I put our second son in CCD for his sacrament preparation in second grade. "What are some things you learned in CCD?" I asked him at the end of the year. "I can't think of anything," he said. When our third son hit second grade, our wiggly vocal opinionated impatient third son, I got permission from the pastor to prepare him at home. The pastor was fine with it; not so the deacon in charge of CCD. "What's wrong with him?" he wanted to know when I said I'd be teaching Joe at home. In the spring he urged me to bring Joe to the remaining sessions. I made the mistake of saying that we had a conflict with soccer practice and was subjected to a lecture on the relative importance of sports and faith. Which, thanks, I think I've got sorted out.
This year my oldest son is preparing for confirmation, and so Wednesday nights are CCD nights once again. Last week he brought home a quiz. The first question instructed the kids to name the four gospels and I was aghast -- appalled -- to see 1) Paul 2) John 3) Mark 4) Luck.
Paul? And LUCK? LUCK??
I stewed. I fretted. I gnashed my teeth and questioned the last 4.5 years' worth of decision-making. Luck! LUCK! What had become of the boy who insisted on hearing more Leviticus? I showed it to my husband, who said, "Paul and John? Where are George and Ringo?" I said, "Should we put him into Catholic school RIGHT NOW?"
My son came home from school and I said, with all the neutrality I could muster, "Hey, what's up with this gospel of Paul?" He was flummoxed until I showed him the paper.
"Oh," he said, "I must have picked up someone else's paper by mistake along with mine. Mine is underneath."
In his own handwriting (I have to laugh at myself for not noticing the handwriting) I saw the four gospels written neatly. No Paul. No Luck.
This is a rambly post to say I question my decisions all the time. Should they all be in CCD? Should I homeschool them again? Is Catholic school more affordable than I think it is? Am I doing the right thing by them? I do not know. But I am grateful, at least, that they know there's no gospel according to Ringo.
Well, I am laughing at this, because it's not my kid who thinks there's a Gospel according to Paul. Although, hey, at least that kid knows about Paul.
And in a fit of graciousness, let's decide that the kid just doesn't know how to spell Luke, right?
I always mean to be teaching my kids more, factually and in terms of lived experience. I fail, over and over again. From what little I see of your lives via this blog, I totally understand why you chose not to do CCD.
That having been said, Sunday school is sort of a bare minimum in our family. And I think it's useful not just in terms of "I'm lazy, at least this way they learn about that wacky Jacob and his soap-opera family," but also in terms of "there are a wide variety of ways that people in our church interact with the body of Christ, and we need to be in fellowship even with the folks who never seem to learn who wrote the third Gospel."
Then again, we already have to have lots of discussion about things like, "some people in our family think it's good to ordain women, and some don't, and some are excited and full of joy at the church's decision to bless and ordain gay and lesbian pastors and their marriages, and some aren't, and some people want to know how the Gospels were written in specific historical contexts for specific theological reasons, and some want to think that they're the literal Word of God." And I can't figure out a way to rewrite that ridiculous run-on sentence without sounding smug, myself. But Sunday school has been a valuable starting point for conversations, no matter what the factual information being conveyed.
FWIW. I don't have a toddler at home, nor children of different ages with different needs to balance because of that.
Posted by: Jody | January 13, 2011 at 05:31 AM
My husband works for the parish, and there is no way I'm putting my kid in CCD. I want my children to continue to take their faith seriously. It is a scandal for them to see children who do not. A couple years ago the teacher preparing children for First Holy Communion left to become a Presbyterian. I have to wonder if she really knows the teaching of the Real Presence. Even if you're not homeschooling, I would still do catechism on your own. Canon law supports your right as a parent to do so. Good luck!
Posted by: Annie | January 13, 2011 at 08:22 AM
I think you're doing well by your children by teaching them by example.
I've taught in Catholic schools, and I promise you they are full of non-Catholics, people who only belong to a church to get the discounted tuition, and a bare-handful of kids from families like yours.
As for the quality of the religious education, when I was teaching middle school I, as a non-Catholic, had another teacher come in to do the religion class each day. Sometimes I stayed in that classroom, sometimes I went across the hall to another classroom where religion was being taught to another class of middle school kids. I knew more about the Bible and more about Catholicism than either of those teachers, and both would ask me questions mid-class if they were stumped.
High school is a little different since the religion teachers tend to actually have some specialized background, but if you're reading and discussing the Bible, discussing and doing works of mercy and social justice, and teaching them at an age appropriate level about sexuality then you have the religious curriculum covered.
Posted by: JeCaThRe | January 13, 2011 at 09:30 AM
I teach CCD (a new thing - I thought it would be a breath of fresh air to teach a group of 5 year olds about the Bible. I was doing it because I felt I was called - now, I'm not so sure). I had all these wonderful visions of teaching these children as I teach my own son. Unfortunately, it hasn't panned out that way. I feel like I am the Saturday morning babysitter.
Posted by: gina | January 13, 2011 at 10:06 AM
This is something of a hot button issue with me; our church's pastoral associate informed me that if I want my daughter to do First Commmunion next year at our parish versus the parish of the school she goes to she's got to go to Catechesis of the Good Shepherd all this year and all next. (Very long story why there are two different parishes, which boils down the fact I love our church and didn't feel comfortable with the school, while the priest at the parish church where she goes to school is an argument for a mandatory retirement age for clergy, let's just put it that way). I'm irritated by this, to put it mildly. I feel like we're being punished for not sending her to the parish school and it's triggering all my Authority Issues which are in large part what made me leave the church the first time.
Posted by: AmyinMotown | January 13, 2011 at 11:23 AM
I came back to say that if I had to take the kids to Sunday school on a totally different day, at an inconvenient time, and then PAY for it, I would not do it, not if it were the same level of quality it is now. Don't get me wrong, I taught Sunday school, my friends teach my kids, but it's not something I would pay for. No way.
I still think that there's value to sitting in a classroom and discovering that not everyone in the family of God knows the same stuff. It's good preparation for some of the more idiotic adult-ed sessions you'll attend when you're grown up. But maybe that's a Protestant thing.
Posted by: Jody | January 13, 2011 at 06:31 PM
I'm laughing out loud about the Gospel of Luck! So glad to hear that it was another student's work. Keep up the good work, Jamie. I lick to read your posts.
Posted by: Marcie | January 13, 2011 at 06:40 PM
I feel for you my dear... Our Rel Ed program was a joke when my big boys were preparing for Confirmation, but then our new Polish pastor came 3 years ago and revamped the whole program to Faith and Life by Ignatius Press, requiring Sunday mass attendance and homework/tests and 1/2 of the families left (over 500 kids)....
But the program is now awesome, a great support to our faith education at home... I wish you had the same!
Posted by: Carla | January 14, 2011 at 08:42 AM
Oh dear. I feel your pain. Both my husband and my father went through RCIA, and both went to more than one parish before they found a program they could sit through every week without holding hands or hearing heresy.
I was lucky that my pastor was very understanding about my Confirmation when I was a teenager. He knew me and my family, and rather than make me attend classes with the kids who hadn't been to church since First Communion, he just sent me home with the "Bishop's Confirmation Questions" (sort of a final exam) and told me to fill it out and bring it back before Easter.
Posted by: JaneC | January 15, 2011 at 12:06 PM