For the most part, my kids haven't been in CCD [religious education for kids who don't go to Catholic school], a state of affairs which pushes my guilt button. See, I can't help thinking in my secret heart that if I were a Really Excellent Mom I would homeschool again, and handle religious ed myself in a systematic way. My secret heart also thinks that if I were a Pretty Awesome Mom then I would figure out a way to put four kids (four unwilling kids) in Catholic school and they would get religious ed in a systematic way at school. Instead I am just an Ordinary Mom whose kids go to public school. And then I don't send them to CCD.
I've been ambivalent about CCD for a long time. It kind of has to be a lowest common denominator program, because it serves the whole parish. The downside to a lowest common denominator program is that when kids come in from families who are -- oh my HECK I have re-written this sentence too many times trying not to sound smug and failing -- families who are really striving to live the faith, those kids may not learn a lot in CCD.
When we homeschooled, I was fairly ambitious in what I wanted my kids to learn about their faith. At that point I was reasonably confident that I was covering the bases. Even after we stopped homeschooling, I wasn't convinced that I should send them to CCD. If you send kids to a program designed to teach them about their faith and they don't learn anything there, is the take-home message that they have nothing to learn about their faith? Because that's a bad take-home message. I'm not going to shell out the money and scramble to get there at a tricky time in order to send that message.
At the same time, I'm not reading Deuteronomy aloud these days.
I put our second son in CCD for his sacrament preparation in second grade. "What are some things you learned in CCD?" I asked him at the end of the year. "I can't think of anything," he said. When our third son hit second grade, our wiggly vocal opinionated impatient third son, I got permission from the pastor to prepare him at home. The pastor was fine with it; not so the deacon in charge of CCD. "What's wrong with him?" he wanted to know when I said I'd be teaching Joe at home. In the spring he urged me to bring Joe to the remaining sessions. I made the mistake of saying that we had a conflict with soccer practice and was subjected to a lecture on the relative importance of sports and faith. Which, thanks, I think I've got sorted out.
This year my oldest son is preparing for confirmation, and so Wednesday nights are CCD nights once again. Last week he brought home a quiz. The first question instructed the kids to name the four gospels and I was aghast -- appalled -- to see 1) Paul 2) John 3) Mark 4) Luck.
Paul? And LUCK? LUCK??
I stewed. I fretted. I gnashed my teeth and questioned the last 4.5 years' worth of decision-making. Luck! LUCK! What had become of the boy who insisted on hearing more Leviticus? I showed it to my husband, who said, "Paul and John? Where are George and Ringo?" I said, "Should we put him into Catholic school RIGHT NOW?"
My son came home from school and I said, with all the neutrality I could muster, "Hey, what's up with this gospel of Paul?" He was flummoxed until I showed him the paper.
"Oh," he said, "I must have picked up someone else's paper by mistake along with mine. Mine is underneath."
In his own handwriting (I have to laugh at myself for not noticing the handwriting) I saw the four gospels written neatly. No Paul. No Luck.
This is a rambly post to say I question my decisions all the time. Should they all be in CCD? Should I homeschool them again? Is Catholic school more affordable than I think it is? Am I doing the right thing by them? I do not know. But I am grateful, at least, that they know there's no gospel according to Ringo.
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