A sort-of perfectionist's sort-of guide to getting things done

Kristin asked me a couple of specific questions about New Year's resolutions which I promise to answer, but the post I sat down and wrote turned out to be more general. Second installment coming soon!

In college I agonized over writing papers. I wrote mostly longhand, dictionary and thesaurus at my elbow, and it took me FOREVER -- I had to give myself at least an hour per page. Even back then I was struck by the fact that if I just forced myself to write something, anything, I would often come back to it later and say, "Hey, that's better than I thought it was." The important truth hidden there took years to sink in: perfectionism is the enemy of steady progress.

FlyLady bangs on and on about perfectionism and some of it has sunk in for me. In the past I would stare at a kitchen full of dirty dishes and think, "These are going to take forever." I'd procrastinate, thinking about how long it would take to do them all, with a cloud of apprehension building over my head. I'd re-read a children's book. I'd alphabetize my skincare products. I'd think, "Boy, it stinks that I have to wash so many dishes. I should wipe down the stove, too. And mop." Would I get in there and do those things? Reader, I would not.

These days I have finally learned that quick and dirty and DONE is usually better than the alternative, which is why I'm only calling myself a sort-of perfectionist. I was just writing about this recently, about getting off my behind to go into the kitchen and wash 15 minutes' worth of dishes. My husband thinks it is a little silly to set a timer for kitchen chores, but it keeps me moving and gives me an end point, and the inevitable result, 100% of the time, is that I am pleasantly surprised by how much I can accomplish in 15 minutes.

So I have become a big believer in the power of the small chunk, and in January that belief joins forces with my longstanding love of a fresh start. I am usually optimistic about New Year's resolutions, and I think I am getting better at making them keepable. Here are some of my tricks:

• Fuel the machine. If I am not eating well and getting enough sleep, I don't have the motivation to sustain changes. Why bother? The future is bleak enough without setting myself up for further disappointment. This one makes a huge, huge difference in my willingness to move forward.
• Write it down. Vague ideas about how my life could be different will never be implemented if they stay in my head. They may or may not be implemented if they make it onto a piece of paper or this blog, but the odds are vastly higher.
• Make it measurable. Again, vague is the enemy. An inchoate yearning for "better" gets me nowhere. I need a Plan. (I like my Plans to have capital Ps.)
• Be accountable. No one on the internet cares if I balance my checkbook this week or not, but I know that I have put it out there. Sometimes I get my friends involved. Sometimes if it's really important I write down promises to God in my prayer notebook. Telling someone else about my Plans keeps me moving, because I want to think of myself as a woman of my word.
• Give yourself some wiggle room. It might have been a bad idea to post that I was going to pray the whole Office every day. I'd be more likely to hit a more flexible target, like 5 of the hours, 6 days this week. That way, forgetting on Tuesday or getting too overwhelmed on Thursday doesn't mean I've blown the goal.
• Plan something to look forward to. I don't always write the follow-up posts here, because they are less interesting than the lament posts. Remember the Horrible Office? I never wrote the post that said, "Hurray, I cleaned it all up and did a victory dance!" --  but I did! Or remember my sundress goal? I did indeed wear that dress when we went out for my 40th birthday. (But I put a cardigan on top because I don't show that much skin these days except at the pool.)

I was having an attack of perfectionism thinking about this post. If my life were a bed it would have rumpled covers with raggedy edges, I was thinking. Just look at the papers piled on the desk right now! Who am I to tell people how to get stuff done? Then I decided to set a timer for 15 minutes and just write. I needed to go back later and fill in here and there, but this is the result. Imperfect, of course, but I hope it has some useful bits.

Comments

[Pippi]

I've told you this before, Jamie, but you are one of my inspirations for getting stuff done. Maybe it's because it seems that you're like me in that you struggle to get those chores done that most annoy you. Dishes are my worst enemy. I got a dishwasher in August which has made a huge difference but like you said in your post, just doing it instead of complaining about doing it has made the biggest difference.

I look forward to installment #2!

[Kristin]

Excellent ideas -- thank you!

You know, as I read some of them, I'm struck by how much I have yet to learn, because...I know these things. I know about setting measurable goals; I know about telling somebody what my goal is; I know about shaving a little off to make a goal possible; I know about trying not getting bogged down by the "all or nothing" mentality.

I know all these things...in my head. I know all these things...in certain areas of my life. Some are things that I hear from my fantastic Weight Watchers leader; some are things I talk about with my students in advising. Some are things that *I* suggest to *other* people when they ask for help.

And yet...I clearly don't KNOW these things deep in my bones, or it wouldn't come as such a surprise (in a familiar sort of way) to read them and say, "Oh, wow -- THAT applies here too? Of course it does...."

So, again, thank you. =)

[Linda]

The timer is my friend, too. Andrew and I decluttered our basement by committing to 30 minutes every Thursday night for months. But! Only 30 minutes! The short time made us actually do it.

Also: I like you.

[Maia]

Ahhhh! Great post! I linked to you in our blog because I found it so helpful!

[gina]

Exactly what I needed today :) Thank you!

[taobaoseeker]

This quite interesting and touch me a lot