Oh, internet, I'm really ticked off. Remember that email I sent last night to my sleepless son's teacher? The movie in question was The Watcher in the Woods. I remember seeing previews for it on HBO in the early 80s and hoping to heaven that I was never in a situation (slumber party, etc.) where I had to watch it. Alexa Flotsam wrote about it recently here, if you don't have similar memories of your own. I politely requested that he be allowed to complete an alternate activity.
So I got an email back, along with a PACKET from the teacher. She said she was surprised that my son was frightened. After all, he's reading Eragon, in which people get decapitated. She's using the movie to teach literature, so she'd like us to choose an appropriate book for him and he can complete the packet over Christmas break.
Did I mention that I'm ticked? Is it really so surprising that a kid would be more comfortable with a book, which he can put down if it gets too intense, and which has no pictures and no scary soundtrack and which is, let's not forget, fantasy, than with a movie designed to be suspenseful?
And teaching literature? Come on. It's December 16 and everybody wants a break, kids and teachers alike. Don't tell me it's about literature. And don't even THINK about giving my son (and only my son) homework over Christmas break, a packet full of character maps and examples of foreshadowing and symbolism charts. (Apparently they are spending a little time on the packet in class but it's pretty informal.)
And ALSO?? Don't send my kid off to write about worms by himself for an hour when everybody else is relaxing in a big gaggle. Couldn't he just go to the library? That sounds more like punishment for my (perceived, not intended) arrogance in requesting an alternate activity than anything else.
One of his brothers is on the case. He thinks the solution is to do that packet up right. They are kicking around book ideas, trying to come up with one destined to create a character chart to remember. War and Peace! Decline and Fall! That book about a day in the life of that guy in Dublin!
Reading Ulysses was not on my list of things to do over Christmas break.
PS Did I mention that my third-grader was required to write a letter to Santa Claus? I don't know what these teachers are smoking.
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