I never fit in when I was in school. I had crazy red hair and thick glasses. We moved around a lot, so that between first and seventh grade I went to six different schools. And the trouble with being a kid who liked to read about offbeat things was never knowing what was offbeat. Sometimes I would say, "Hey, have you guys heard about [insert common knowledge topic here]?" and get a "yeah, duh" response; other times I would say, "That's just like [insert offbeat topic here]" and hear the uncomfortable silence that meant I'd done it again.
I am uncomfortable even writing about being a smart kid. Part of me thinks it's immodest to write about being smart -- the same part of me that wonders if it should go back and edit a couple of recent posts. (It could be construed as boastful to say that I need a better dictionary in my Kindle, or that I like to do math in my head, or that my kids like to read about physics.) Part of me still thinks it's dumb that I spent so much time trying to pass as one of the average kids. If I'd been good at basketball, would I ever have felt ashamed of standing out on the court? Why is it different to stand out in the classroom?
One of my kids came home from the first day of school and said, "I made a mortal enemy today." I responded cautiously: "Oh, yeah?" "Yeah," he said, "this kid named Dustin. We were picking table names and I suggested 'Cesium and the Franciums.' So he said to everybody, 'Raise your hand if you like 'Rock Band' and want to kick that kid.' And so I said, 'If you want our table to be called 'Rock Band,' then explain the quantum wave function collapse.'"
Guess what their table is called. Hint: not Cesium and the Franciums.
This son seems to have embraced his identity. He's smart. Deal with it. (He okayed this post, just in case you wondered.) It's good to embrace your identity, right? It's not, alas, that simple. When is it showing off versus just being who you are? What if it gets in the way of having a big (or even medium-sized) circle of friends?
I just don't know.
My experience of school was reminiscent of Cambodia under the Khmer Rouge, where the tallest blades of wheat got their heads snicked off. This was a huge part of why I homeschooled my older kids. Even if you homeschool, though, the kids have to figure it out eventually. How much do you try to fit in? How much do you just opt to be who you are?
Experiences? Advice? This is still a tender spot for me, so please be kind. ;-)
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