[Last weekend I was talking to my friend Anneleisa about my struggles with using the computer wisely. I asked her if she would hold me accountable as I try to make some changes this fall. With her permission, I am also going to post about it here. I'm doing this for two reasons: first, I could use the extra nudge not to slide right back into bad habits, and second, I know I'm not the only one who has a hard time with it.]
You know the strangest thing about our drive home on Sunday? I was
unexpectedly happy. I was stuck in the back seat of our van with
children asking "how much longer? how much longer now? wait, how much
longer did you say?" I was surrounded by dirty laundry and returning to
a grubby house. And yet I felt oddly joyful. Some of it was because
spending time with your family was refreshing. Some of it was the
effect of a week with no laundry and two adults around most of the time.
But I think my weeklong internet fast was a big part of it -- it is
not good for my brain when I spend so much time in front of a computer
screen, clicking idly from place to place. Just like
anything I do that brings out my compulsive streak, it feels good at
first and then the pleasure dwindles rapidly. Honestly, I think the
enforced time away from email and blogs and FB hit a reset button
somewhere in my brain.
I have often lamented the truth of "If Mama ain't happy, ain't
nobody happy." (I am still lobbying to have it amended; I much prefer
"If Mama ain't happy, the rest of the family cuts her some slack and
perhaps gives her a foot rub.") I've been thinking a ton about mood
contagion. I think my happiness on the drive home made it much more
manageable and even fun for the kids. So what is my crabbiness doing to
our family?
Today I am resolved not to play at the computer unless the kitchen
is clean, and to keep track of how much time I'm spending here.
(Except, darn it, I forgot to start my online stopwatch when I sat down
this time. Maybe 20 minutes for the day so far?) My larger plan is to
focus on my use of the computer from today, the feast of Mary's queenship, until October 7, the feast of Our Lady of the Rosary. Pray
for me!
Love,
J
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