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September 21, 2008

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See? This is why you're my role model. Anyway, I think the answers are the same. You probably can't do a lot about the locker room nastiness, all you can do is inoculate your child – and possibly his friends, a little – by having free communication about what the language means (take the mystery and attendant fascination out of it), and by explaining the offensiveness with an attitude of boredom and sadness rather than shock and outrage.

You could try to anonymously ask the school administration about locker room supervision, but you're of course right that any whiff of Mom being involved at all with this will mean misery for your kid. The locker room talk may be inevitable, and better there locker room than the street corner if those adolescent male hormones must be unleashed.

I didn't comment yesterday though I read it - had to think a bit. I was surprised to read that a female was teaching boys in PE - we don't have coed PE as soon as they hit 6th grade here, and the teacher is in and out of the locker room all the time, so they are mostly supervised.

still, that has been the place where most unsavory conversation has taken place. I just keep answering questions - and keep encouraging my child about what to do in that situation.

I wish I could protect them more, but they are at an age where they have to do more for themselves... and aside from keeping them home full time, I can't put them in a bubble - it's going to happen somewhere.

Suffice to say that I've been where you're at and it's not fun, but I just keep being glad that at least they're coming to me with the questions.

I think jr high is probably the worst, and that the school will probably not be able to do/not be interested in doing anything much about that kind of talk.

I suspect that you're doing everything you can already, by opening up those lines of communication and responding as matter-of-factly as you can.

What does Elwood think? I confess, I plan on relying heavily on Calder's opinion when we reach this stage of the game. He's the one who's been in locker rooms like that (although in truth, most of the scariest ideas about sex he picked up in grades 6-8 were from the extremely retro brothers in charge of his parochial school).

I read yesterday's post, too, but didn't have time to respond. Will you tell me what the phrase was? I am curious/nosy/obsessive.

Anyway, at this age and in this situation, I don't think there's anything you can do. Junior high locker room stuff sucks. Boys talk and I think your conversation (outlined in the deleted post) was awesome.

Is this part of the letting go process? Because it doesn't sound like any fun.

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