Shifting Gears

I really appreciate all the concerned comments and emails and phone calls and prayers and good thoughts. I am mostly calmer. Elwood doesn't get why this has had such an emotional impact on me. He says, "Of course they're going to call it unfounded. What could it possibly be if not unfounded? We are not living in a Kafka novel."

But I am still feeling jumpy and weepy and uncertain. In some ways it would be easier if I had been reported for losing my temper with one of my children in the Target parking lot. I could agree wholeheartedly that you shouldn't lose your temper with your children. This incident makes me wonder what else I am doing that seems perfectly sensible to me but strikes strangers as appalling.

Tomorrow I am catching the early train out of here and going to Chicago. I'm going to spend part of the day with my best friend from high school and the rest of the day with my best friends from college. I'm going to the Art Institute and the Melissa Etheridge concert. I'm staying in Oak Park with one of my college roommates on Friday night, and I'm going to sleep until I wake up on Saturday morning and then walk to the farmer's market. On the train I am going to cast on a pair of Spring Forward socks in some soft and pretty Tofutsies yarn, and finally get past chapter one of Dombey and Son. I am going to take along a sheaf of articles for my dissertation, but maybe they'll get read and maybe they won't. I'm not going to get bent out of shape about it if they have to wait until next week. On Sunday morning I'm cantoring with my favorite organist.

Thinking about this neighbor has eaten up too much of the past week. I'm going to do my best to relax and enjoy the weekend.

Comments

[frectis]

I'm outraged.

I've done this same thing. My kids regularly got into car fights on the way back from school and I threatened many times to drop them off to walk home. One time I followed through. I pulled over at the entrance of my neighborhood and told two of them to get out and walk home. They cried the whole way home and never behaved in that way on the way home again.

I'd feel just the same as you. Here's hoping you have no further troubles.

Congratulations on your baby girl :)

[bearing]

Have a great time in Chicago! I went there by myself for a little mom's day off not long ago, and it was a real treat. I spent 5 hours in the Art Institute. Awesome.

[mary]

Wow, that sounds like a WONDERFUL weekend. Especially the "sleep until I wake up" part. Enjoy!!

[Stephen]

I'm a giant insect. Will this make me popular at your house?

[amy]

Bless Elwood, he's right, but I still understand why you'd feel jumpy and weepy. (Also, I think you get an extra pass on weepiness since you are pregnant, no?)

Have a lovely trip, and as you cast on, may you also spring forward, past all this grief.

[Erin]

I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that nothing is going to happen to your children. But this is still such an awful thing to have to go through.
Though your husband doesn't think he's living in a Kafka novel, he should know that art is usually based on life in some way. My sister had CPS called to her house in our state. Her step-daughter has some severe psychological problems and ended up telling some teacher that she was not safe at home. So they were obliged to report.
They were investigated, and no charges were filed. But get this. Without any trial, without any evidence, my sister has been put on a watch-list for potential child-abusers that she must stay on until her youngest child turns 25. Her youngest is almost 3. Nothing she can do short of spending thousands upon thousand in legal fees. She's also a nurse, so the potential is there that it could somehow be harmful to her career if anyone chooses to do a background check on her. How's that for living in a Kafka world? My sister woke up as a giant cockroach, through no fault of her own, with no trial.

[Suna]

I was just browsing through my Ravelry friends blogs when I saw this. I am so glad you are getting to go hang out in Chicago and have some fun with your friends. Gee, I have done a very similar thing, myself--I guess I am lucky my creepy neighbor wasn't in spy mode.

Know that all your old and new friends believe you make good decisions.

Heck, we ALL make questionable ones sometimes, but this really wasn't one.

I heard about the baby from others--I so envy you in the chance to make girlie things!

Bye, from an old friend

[swimmermom]

Your weekend plans sound heavenly, just the thing for reviving your spirits! Hope it was every bit as enjoyable as you expected.

I'm chiming in late here to say don't doubt yourself on having Joe walk home. Your neighborhood sounds similar to mine: little traffic, good sidewalks, lots of children out and about, elementary school down the street. My kids (ages 10, 6, almost 4) are allowed to roam fairly far and wide. There are two large parks and many friends within a three-block radius. The older kids have been allowed to cross streets alone from the age of 5 or so. Our house is on one of the direct walking routes to the school and dozens of kids pass our front yard every school day. We know our neighbors and everyone keeps tabs on the kids (and lets parents know when there has been misbehavior -- in a nice, we're-in-this-together kind of way). "Go play outside!" is a mainstay of my approach to parenting. The structure of this neighborhood hasn't changed in decades and I like to think my kids are enjoying a childhood here that is much the same as their counterparts 50 or 60 years ago.

I would absolutely have done the same thing you did with Joe, and not remotely considered it to be negligent. (In fact, I may steal a page from your parenting book and try the "settle down or walk home" technique with my own rambunctious, self-assured 6 year old!)

[Lilian]

I hope you had a lovely weekend! We did too -- traveling to Massachusetts to meet my husband's whole family and our newborn nephew.