I really appreciate all the concerned comments and emails and phone calls and prayers and good thoughts. I am mostly calmer. Elwood doesn't get why this has had such an emotional impact on me. He says, "Of course they're going to call it unfounded. What could it possibly be if not unfounded? We are not living in a Kafka novel."
But I am still feeling jumpy and weepy and uncertain. In some ways it would be easier if I had been reported for losing my temper with one of my children in the Target parking lot. I could agree wholeheartedly that you shouldn't lose your temper with your children. This incident makes me wonder what else I am doing that seems perfectly sensible to me but strikes strangers as appalling.
Tomorrow I am catching the early train out of here and going to Chicago. I'm going to spend part of the day with my best friend from high school and the rest of the day with my best friends from college. I'm going to the Art Institute and the Melissa Etheridge concert. I'm staying in Oak Park with one of my college roommates on Friday night, and I'm going to sleep until I wake up on Saturday morning and then walk to the farmer's market. On the train I am going to cast on a pair of Spring Forward socks in some soft and pretty Tofutsies yarn, and finally get past chapter one of Dombey and Son. I am going to take along a sheaf of articles for my dissertation, but maybe they'll get read and maybe they won't. I'm not going to get bent out of shape about it if they have to wait until next week. On Sunday morning I'm cantoring with my favorite organist.
Thinking about this neighbor has eaten up too much of the past week. I'm going to do my best to relax and enjoy the weekend.
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