Linda is writing about manners today and it reminded me that I meant to post about etiquette too. I took the big kids to see The Water Horse and I would have really enjoyed it -- good animation, good accents, great scenery, and only one moment that seriously strained credulity -- except for a woman sitting behind us who talked all the way through the movie.
I hate when people talk during movies. For the first half of the movie I was reminding myself of reasons why she might be chatting away. Maybe she was developmentally disabled. Maybe she had a hearing loss and didn't realize how loud she was being. Maybe she was from another culture where it's not regarded as rude. But she just kept talking.
She was there with two kids, and I understand that sometimes you have to talk to your kids during a movie. I understand that it takes time for kids to learn to sit still and be quiet for two hours in the dark -- I know all about that. But the kids were much quieter than she was. And it wasn't explanation aimed at them; it was just narration. "Oh, look, it's the boy." "There he is again." Finally, an hour or so into the movie, I turned around and said, "SSSSHHHHHHHH!"
She kept talking.
I should have gone to get an usher, but I didn't want to. It seemed to me like I would be saying, "Hi, I'm a demanding customer who can't solve my own problems, so come and do it for me!" By the end of the movie, though, I was furious.
At some point it dawned on me that she and I were working from different definitions of appropriate behavior in a movie theater. So now I'm curious: does chattiness in a theater strike you as rude? Are there situations where it's acceptable?
Here's my other manners question: I'm wondering if I'm behind the curve on tipping etiquette. When I was growing up, there were no tip jars in ice cream shops. I used to work behind the counter in a little bakery, serving up sandwiches and coffee and cakes, and tips were a once-every-month-or-two kind of occurrence. But these days it seems like everybody's looking for a tip. I mean, if you get a job in an ice cream shop, you expect to scoop up ice cream, right? Isn't that pretty much your job description? But yesterday I took the kids for ice cream, paid by credit card, and saw disappointment register on the face behind the counter when I didn't add a tip.
I am never sure what to do in a coffeehouse either. The one I frequent on campus was reputed, when I was in grad school the first time, to pay its employees a living wage. I make a point of tipping waitresses and cabbies well, but what about a barista? Is it different if I order a Giant Half-Decaf Hazelnut Chipotle White Mocha With A Shot of Worcestershire Sauce versus a plain old cup of joe?
Tell me what you think, please.
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