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January 22, 2008


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I'd keep looking until you've turned every stone. Then call her, thanking her so much for her donation and tell her that you've turned every stone and that it seems you've lost the check. Then ask if she would mind taking the trouble to resend the check, assuring her that you won't loose this one! Keep the apology short and sweet, as the request for a new check. I'm sure she won't mind. Goodness knows that you've got a full plate! These things happen to everyone sometime. It's just embarassing when they do. Kind of like sneezing in church.

I vote option C. I would instinctively go for option A, but it's got a little of the trying-to-be-perfect-even-though-I'm-not to it, and I've been attempting to shake that tendency, which I have in spades. Plus option A is dangerous, because if you don't find the check the giver will know eventually and you'll have to move to option C then, and it will be much more awkward after a few months than if you just get it over with now.

However, I'm going to say a prayer to St. Anthony that the check magically appears before you get around to making the phone call.

I'd keep looking, as time and energy permit, but I'd give myself a deadline. Something like "I'll go through these rooms (X, Y, Z) one more time and that's it" or "I'll give myself until Saturday." When I hit the deadline, I'd move on to option C.

I know if I were in your position, I'd feel awful, but she needs to know the check has gone missing. If I were the check-writer, I'd want to know, and I'd gladly write a replacement, especially if I were reassured that if the original one turned up, it would be voided and sent to me.

Best of luck!

Okay, could that last sentence have one more comma? :eyeroll: You'd think I'd have reread that before hitting the "post" button. Sheesh.

Here's what I'd do (and I've been in pretty much precisely the same situation, except the checks that have been lost have been for our business, not for a charity):
First, B, after saying a short but heartfelt prayer to St. Anthony. If it doesn't turn up, THEN contact the giver, thank her, and explain what happened, and give her the option of sending a new check.

In the early days of our business, when we were far less organized than we are now, I went through plenty of trash bags and recycling bins looking for things. So suck it up and go through the recycling, and then at least when you contact her you can honestly say you've searched everywhere.

There isn't a chance you've already sent the check along or deposited it, is there?

I vote C. I find people usually respond really well if you call up and lay it out there -- "I'm so embarrassed to admit this! I have to apologize, you sent that lovely check and I lost it. I feel so horrible!" -- they usually end up focusing on making you feel better and then *they* feel extra useful to boot.

It's blatant manipulation, but it works for me. lol.

What Amy and Meira said. Totally. I don't think it's worth digging through that stack when a quick apologetic phone call would get you a new check. I like Meira's approach!!!

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