Competition

I am missing the thing, whatever it is, that makes people get all het up about who can get a ball to go through the net or across the goal line or under the wicket. Some of it, I guess, comes from growing up in a family where sports were not a priority. My husband and I were married in late July, and he wanted to watch Monday night football when the season started in August. (September? I don't even know. Also, I wouldn't know an offsides violation if it came up and head-butted me.) I thought he was joking. Who watches Monday night football? When I realized he was serious, I offered helpful commentary. "Look! Large men in tights hurling themselves at each other. Wait, wait, something unexpected now: more large men in tights hurling themselves at each other."

My kids are involved in soccer because I figure it's good for them -- the activity is good for their bodies and the lessons in humility are good for their souls. Right?  I mean, yeah, teamwork, sportsmanship, fun, plus it's as American as baba ghannouj. But I just do not get -- cannot comprehend -- the parents who treat a kindergarten soccer game as if the outcome had some import.

This morning a dad was yelling at his son from the sidelines: "Lucas! Pressure! Pressure!" Which, dude. He's five. The kid fell down and the dad yelled, "Get up! Always get up!" Even worse, the opposing team's coach was a bellower, shouting at his charges to do better faster harder.

Did I just learn early that I was bad at sports? Did I stop caring because I couldn't afford to care? I am competitive as all get-out when it comes to Scrabble, so this post is not me saying behold my meekness and humility. But I don't really care if my kids play Scrabble well or not, you know? I can't imagine a Scrabble equivalent to this morning's scene at the soccer field. ("No, you moron! You should have anagrammed that to put the Z on the triple letter! Always look for anagrams!")

My kids are not out there tearing up the soccer field, and I am curious about what factors determine skill. Probably some of the dads who yell (I've never seen a mom shouting "Move! MOVE!" but I suppose they're out there) know that their boys can play better than they're playing. There must be some complicated interplay of ingredients that makes a really good soccer player: good genes (we seem to have been shorted on the sports genes around here) expressed in a favorable environment. Would my kids play better if I cared more? Would they enjoy it more if we were more invested in the games? I just don't know.