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March 15, 2007


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No, it's not too much to expect that they should understand the words "I don't want him to cry."

And not too much to expect that fine means fine, and not crying.


(I had to throw that word in somewhere, and now I need to get that video at the library again.)

I'd be interested in hearing more about the preschool lady after Pete is feeling more secure!

You are a breath of fresh air...
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
I sometimes think I am the only one that feels that way...

It sounds like in this case, "He's fine," really meant, "I'm fine." And I'd still be grumpy about it too, if I were you.

This reminds me of a show I watched once (on TV, so we were at a hotel somewhere) where some lady came to a new mother's house to teach her infant massage. They started doing it and the baby was screaming, and the massage teacher said, "Oh, don't worry if she cries. That's just the only way babies can express themselves." Reeeeeally? Because my baby expresses herself beautifully if she's happy with something: by NOT crying. If we assuming that crying doesn't mean anything, then how do we know when they're hurting or unhappy?


I'd like to hear about the lady at Joe's preschool. Since becoming a mother I've been surprised at how many people seem to share that viewpoint. Camilla is high-needs and we hold her pretty much constantly (because she'll fuss if we don't) and not a few people have expressed (tacitly or outright) the opinion that we're letting her manipulate us. Where does this idea come from? Object permanence is still beyond her mental capacity; am I really supposed to believe that she has a working grasp of psychology?

Again, sheesh.

Sorry for the mondo-comment!

I'm with Arwen--"He's fine" probably meant "I'm fine".

I feel bad for the staffer whose job is to distract or attempt to comfort the screaming children of parents who can't have their workouts disrupted. Could you be paid enough to listen to babies cry all day?

Oh that would make me so mad! The Moosh was one of those babies where if he got started crying he'd cry for HOURS. He was happiest when he was being held by a family member. He NEEDED to be held and comforted. The end.


When my daughter was in a day care center (she's in a home-based one now), I'd often show up early to pick her up and discover her red-faced and half-sobbing. The workers would tell me every single time that she had been crying since, oh, noon, but somehow that never translated to them marking anything but the "happy" box under the "today's mood" category on the daily report. I'd hate to see what they thought "unhappy" looked like.

As always, I'm hoping good things for you and yours.

We had almost this exact same scenario happen to us when our son was 6 months old. In our case, there were no monitors but the nursery was just one door away from the pool (where my husband and I were) Our son happened to be sleeping so we left explicit instructions to come get me AS SOON AS he woke up since he would want to nurse. I expected him to sleep another 30 min or so. After a lovely swim we returned (about 40 min later) to find that he had awakened almost as soon as we left, had been crying the entire time, and "why didn't you leave a bottle for him?" I was livid. We complained to the manager and cancelled our membership that day.

oh, that makes me so angry- i too have had the experience of 'she's fine' when she clearly was NOT. it bothers me b/c sometimes i wonder if people assume b/c she is my first or b/c i look young that i don't know my own girl. i know exactly what you mean about the kid having a clingy day, and no amount of anything but mama (even not then sometimes!) will help.

i would have complained to the manager and then spent the rest of my membership paranoidly imagining everyone there thinking i was some kind of a fruit loop. sigh.

Ugh! I hate when things like that happen! I am SAHM, so my kids are really not used to be seperated. My oldest son especially, won't calm down, no matter what the caretaker does for him, unless I come to him. He is happy for varying amounts of time, sometimes 5 minutes, sometimes 20 minutes, sometimes the entire time. But once he starts, he doesn't stop. And if someone tries to keep him as he's screaming deserpately for me, he gets in a very clingy mind-set, and won't go back to nursery the next week, which is really not helpful to me at all.

So at church nursery (really, one of the only places he's left w/o me), I always tell them that when he starts to cry, come for me right away. Half are great about, which is of course the people that he does best for because he knows that when he gets afraid they'll get me. However the other half try to console him themselves. It has never worked. I hate that!!!

So I feel your pain!!!

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