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February 01, 2006

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Jamie, thank you so much for writing these posts for my site. I am always impressed by your ability to hit the right spot.

LOVE the look on Pete's face. "Yeah, I'm up here, I'm eating the O's. You got a problem with that?"

Judging by what you write on your blog here, I would not say you are too strident. Believe me, I am one of the first to get scared/freaked out/turned off by the strident and you are most definitely not that. You are not pushy; you give the facts and let people decide and you always make it clear that "Hey, this is what works for my family; yours is probably different. Do what you can." And that is appreciated, both here and at Moxie's.

Your breastfeeding discussion on Moxie's blog is wonderful. Just wanted to add a character to your list of newborn helpers....my dad, who was a pediatrician, was the one to stay at my house when my 6 day old daughter was learning to nurse, finally. My dad, my husband and I all stayed awake for 24 hours feeding, pumping, feeding, pumping, bathing, feeding and pumping until that baby nursed well. It was the salvation of my breastfeeding relationship with my first daughter and the beginning of my life as a nursing mother.

Thanks for being such a great breastfeeding advocate!

But, did no one notice the jar of Nutella on the table?

Healthy eating, my left toe.

Just kidding, Jamie. You know I love you, right???

Yes my eyes went straight for the Nutella. Love that stuff. Hazelnuts and choclate were meant to be together!

Also I loved the breastfeeding posts at Moxie's, I dont have kids yet and I'm not even married but I love reading about this stuff. Breastfeeding sounds so easy and natural and right but so hard all at the same time, can't wait to have kids to see what it's all actually like.

Saving the world through breastfeeding, yes! LOL. It's hard to hit the right tone. To me, bfing is a wonderful thing, for baby, and even for mom, and why oh why would anyone NOT want to do it?! And, it's a public health issue. And a woman's issue. So of course, it's easy to feel strongly about.

I've been thinking about bfing advocacy a lot lately, and I think the focus needs to be on making sure the right information is out there so women can make an informed choice (although, argh! I want to yell, what "choice" is there to make), and once a woman has chosen to bf, focusing on the resources and support she needs to be successful.

That's probably not such a huge revelation, but I'm making a concious choice to respect decisions that don't coincide with my personal beliefs.

I just think it's tragic when women fail at bfing, especially because they got bad advice or information. It's something that can be mourned for years, and why wouldn't you want to prevent that?

Nutella? What Nutella?

Just a comment from the angel-phile reader: quires of angels would be 25 flat sheets of paper. :-) I'm not sure those *can* sing triumphantly.

They would be Miltonian quires. I wondered if anyone would think I meant enthusiastic stacks of paper. ;-)

As I said on Moxie's advice blog, I think both your breastfeeding posts were perfect. Not to strong, not to light - you hit the difficult parts without making them seem impossible. I loved both of them and will be forwarding them to a pregnant friend at work.

I really hesistate to proselytize to people about breastfeeding. So many first time moms have preconceived notions about it, and unless women are truly dedicated to it, they will often give up. The two people I've been close to during their pregnancies both decided to stop breastfeeding a day after their babies were born, because they "didn't have milk, even the doctor said so!" At this point I almost swallow my tongue and try not to say anything negative. It is their right to feed their children however they (or I guess however their doctors) feel best. Sigh.

I love it when you write about breastfeeding. I can tell it's very near and dear to you, because it shines through your words.

I'm thinking along the same lines lately...I have strong beliefs on a number of issues...when does passionate conviction border on being overbearing and obtrusive?

Jamie,

I agree with your friend who said that she wished she had had an older sister -- I too have often thought this, and my first two experiences with nursing seriously lacked an experienced support person. I found such a person my third time around -- in the form of a postpartum doula. I exclusively breastfed twins for over a year when I had only nursed my older children for about six months each, and when everyone including my OB and Ped told me that I probably wouldn't be able to, and I think that alot of my success is due to her support both in preparation and in the first few weeks of getting established.

I also feel strongly that her support and my positive nursing experience helped to lessen the postpartum mood disorders that I have experienced each time.

Breastfeeding has done a lot for my family! Keep up the good fight!

Nah, I don't think you're too strident. But I don't talk about breastfeeding very much on my blog because the few times I did, I still managed to put my foot in it.

I'm mostly just writing to say that your story about the lollipop is totally adorable. Also, I'm glad to know that the "fulfill the wish through fantasy" technique backfires on other people from time to time, too.

You left the Nutella right there! On the table?!?! The children will see it. They will want some.
Nutella is best eaten in the closet where it is dark, but not too dark, and where no one can see me.

Trader Joe's makes a hazelnut chocolate spread that is all natural and even better than Nutella.......mmmmm
It is especially good spread on carr's wheatmeal biscuits.

"being emphatic without being shrill"

That is a tricky one.

This week, it's been implied (though not stated directly) that I am "bitter and mean spirited" about my soapbox topics. Oh, and obviously so dangerous, that my well-reasoned and thoughtful posts have been deleted in two places. (And no name calling or profanity, either.)

Sometimes I think I succeed in gracious, compassionate and emphatic communication.

(Other times, I'm just about ready to smack someone upside the head with a rubber chicken and say, "Don't you get it yet?!?!")

Hey Tulip Girl, A woman on my montessori homeschool list recently told me that I needed to stop being so "militaristic" about things -- I guess we all have this problem from time to time. I know that I need to temper the way that i express things sometimes, but I have to say that if I didn't feel strongly about certain things in my lifestyle I don't know that I could survive being surrounded by all these kiddos!

Hi there, I'm a first time reader. I got here from http://raisingweg.typepad.com/raising_weg/, and I'm so happy to find a like-minded supporter of extended breastfeeding who can also write and be interesting to read! I'll be a regular reader henceforth - me and my 2.4 year old nursling.

Great advice on breastfeeding! Pete is so adorable, looks like he keeps you on your toes.

I nursed my kids for a few years each and appreciate breastfeeding advocacy. But we don't know what combination of factors causes another mother to choose differently unless we've walked in her shoes. I like to assume that, generally speaking, people who parent differently than I do love their children as fiercely as I do and would only do what they think is best for their family.

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