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November 06, 2005


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Beautiful post, Jamie. It really made me think, about a lot of things.


Do we have the same mother? I've been thinking a lot on the topic of mother-daughter relationships, mostly in the hope of figuring out what I can do differently with my own daughter, but also in the hope that I can find peace with my own mother. I like this line "I love my mother fiercely" because that is exactly how I feel with my own mother, but there is so much going on that I wonder... and wish... and oh, well.

Make the phone call, Jamie. Though I understand why you haven't made it yet - just do it. Please.

You have taken hazey, unformed thoughts, fears, and anxieties and put them so beautifully into words. And I envy your ability to cry about these fearful realities. If I could cry, I think I would get some relief. Here is one of my favorite petitions from our Divine Liturgy-

"That the end of our life may be Christian, painless, unashamed, and peaceful, and for a good defense before the awesome judgment seat of Christ, let us ask the Lord"

"Grant this, O Lord

Actually, here is another, equally favorite petition-

"We pray for mercy, life, peace, health, salvation, protection, forgiveness and remission of sins for the the servants of God"

"Lord have mercy"

Blessings to you!

Thank you for the post. It was well-written. I had a number of thoughts as I read through your words.

I think your mom thinks more of you than your realize. As parents, I think we all have hopes and expectations for what our children will be like and for the choices that they will make. We have our dreams as we carry them and as we raise them. But even when they are different than what we thought we wanted from our children, it doesn't mean we aren't delighted with the people they have become. I'm sure you surpass your mother's expecations in many, many ways. In many ways you may be a mystery to her, but I'm sure she thinks you are a marvel.

That was a sad, yet beautiful post.

Pick up the phone, Jamie. I'll be right there with you. Remember when I was worried about the mole on my breast? Probably not, since I was too frightened to blog about it. It's all over, though.

I'll be in prayer for you and your family.

i third that 'pick up the phone and call' about the breast lump. I recommend an Ultrasound as a first screening. Mammography of lactating breasts is tough technically.
and thanks for verbalizing the feelings that so many of us have and can't express.

Of course I can't know whether you're right about how your mother feels, but I've been reading your blog for awhile and although I only know you in the partial and tangential way this medium makes possible, I admire you so much and get such pleasure and food for thought from reading your musings, that I have to tell you . . . but trying to put it into words makes it sound trivial and almost condescending, which isn't at all what I mean. It just seems to me that any mother would be--should be--overwhelmingly proud to have you as a daughter, and for the very reasons you cite as potentially off-putting (intense, sensitive). Anyway. Thanks for blogging.

If I ever have a daughter I hope she will be like you. Especially the intense and senstive part.

Sunday was the Faure Requiem in church, and I can never get past the In Paradisum part. The music fits the words so perfectly.

May the angels lead you into paradise: May the Martyrs welcome you upon your arrival, and lead you into the holy city of Jerusalem. May a choir of angels welcome you, and, with poor Lazarus of old, may you have eternal rest.


Oh Jamie, your post really struck a nerve. I've been thinking a lot about death recently too. Thanks for sharing it.

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