Committed and Crunchy

Before I became a homeschooler myself, I thought homeschoolers were probably pretty homogenous.  I was wrong.  People homeschool for a multiplicity of reasons and they use a huge variety of approaches.  What took me by surprise was the hostility that sometimes surfaces about their differences.

I got interested in homeschooling early on, but my husband was skeptical.  One night he said to me, "It's 11:30 and you're still washing the dishes.  How are you going to add school to the mix?"  When our oldest turned four, I began a little preschool-at-home routine to see if I could keep all the balls in the air.  We got a book called Five in a Row and gave it a whirl.  We both loved it.  And the dishes were clean to boot.

A couple of weeks into our experiment I was talking to an acquaintance who was homeschooling her older daughter.  "This is going so well," I said.  "We're both having so much fun with it!"  She turned a delicate shade of scornful and sniffed, "We don't do much sitting-down-at-the-table workbook kind of stuff."

Pssssssst went the air from my happy little balloon.  Welcome to homeschooling, Jamie.

By that time I had a vague idea that homeschoolers fell into different camps.  I knew there was a crunchy contingent, and I knew there was a committed Christian contingent with various denominational subgroups.  I told M, "I was born to homeschool, because I'm a crunchy committed Catholic."  But I didn't know how hard it would be to find a place to pitch my own tent.

The unschoolers reject the rigidity of the school-at-homers.  The school-at-homers are certain that the unschooled kids will never learn algebra, and how can you get through life without algebra?  In my experience, homeschooling support groups tend to lean one way or the other, and it's tough to be in the middle.

When I go to my local unschooling group meetings I feel kind of quaint, with my crucifix and my Latin lessons.  (But they are fun Latin lessons!  Really -- we go to the Fantastic Zoo together. Draconem videmus!)  At the Catholic support group meetings I feel conspicuously granola with my Birkenstocks and the almond butter-oat squares I brought for snacks.  (But they are good almond butter-oat squares!)  Mostly I feel like I did as a new mom at La Leche League meetings:  I do not belong here.

In this area as in so many others, I am puzzled by how easy it is for people to polarize themselves and point fingers at each other's perceived errors.  All of us who homeschool are stepping out of the mainstream to do what we think is best for our children.  All of us are doing something that requires a substantial investment of time and emotional energy.  We mostly agree that we live in a rich and lustrous world -- one in which we have too little time to drill for and take endless multiple-choice tests while staying under the class bully's radar.

Wouldn't you think we could focus on what we have in common?

I had been toying with the idea of trying to get a local Catholic group going since the one I occasionally visit, weird snacks in hand, is too far away.  I don't know if it will happen now, but I wanted to send an email to the parishes nearest us and ask them to include a bulletin announcement.  I had thought it might say something like "Homeschooling families:  if you'd like to get together occasionally for daily mass or field trips or visits to the park, call Jamie."

It's not the announcement I'd really like to see, though.  What I want to say is more like this:  Let's skip the unspoken competitions about whose family is more devout and who says a longer grace over lunch.  Let's not assume that faithful Catholics are required to fit a particular mold.  Instead let's take our motto from Augustine:  "In essentials, unity; in all else, liberty."  Let's remember that we are grinding the lenses through which our children will view the world, and let's strive together to give them the clearest vision we can.

I can't seem to fit that in 35 words or less, though.

Comments

[Sarah]

Hi!

You know, it's funny--I just started reading your blog a few days ago and tonight when I read your entry it is about the same things that I was thinking about, too!

Ok, I'm not sure how much sense that last sentence made, but I'm sure you get this picture.

I was online tonight trying to find out some information about homeschooling curriculum and it seems like all of the homeschooling resources are directed towards Christians. While my husband and I are strong Christians, we aren't really excited about the idea of having a whole curriculum centered on Christian themes. I'm a little nervous about approaching the whole homeschooling culture. Luckily, time is on my side at this point.

Would you mind sending me your recipe for Almond Butter-Oat Squares, please?

And Latin! that's so cool. I never would have thought of doing that.

[Jamie]

We're doing Latin at my son's request. He actually wanted me to teach him Latin by immersion but sadly my Latin skills weren't up to snuff.

To make almond butter-oat squares, combine 2 c. rolled oats, 1/4 c. oat bran, 1/2. c. chopped almonds, 1/4 c. sesame seeds, and a pinch of salt in a large bowl. In a small bowl blend 2/3 c. room temperature almond butter with 2/3 c. of either applesauce or mashed banana. Add wet ingredients to dry and mix well. Spread in an 11x7 pan and bake for 35 mins at 300. Score with a knife while warm; cut when cool. From Get the Sugar Out.

Good luck as you start to track down homeschooling resources!

[Veronica]

Oh I wish I would live near you and like-minded folks when Max hits school age! I am already worrying about what to do since like you I don't feel like I really fit anywhere -- the unschooling thing is TOO out there for me and I don't think would be right for Max, and my objections to the local institutions (private and public, religious and secular) have less to do with moral values and more to do with subpar schooling.

I am overwhelmed by it all and look forward to reading more about how you make it work :)

Also that recipe looks yummy -- though I'm waiting until Max is two to introduce nuts...

[Jamie]

I've been surprised to see how many options there are for educating a child -- a whole range of ways to tackle it at home, schools that let students enroll as distance learners from the beginning, cooperative schools. There may be even more possibilities when you need to figure it out for Max. Good luck!

[Pura Vida]

There is a Catholic unschooling group I listed on my site somewhere - http://geocities.com/moonwindstarsky/unschooling

You might need to look around to find it. HTH

[Amy F]

"Crunchy committed Catholic" is almost exactly my sub-line under my blog title :)

I'm not at the homeschooling age yet (although, isn't every mom staying home with her kids actually schooling them?), but I'm experiencing the same thing in playgroups now.

Playgroups 1, 2, and 3 were formed through a AP webgroup. Group 1 meets at a coffee shop and knits while the kids try to escape the shop (this was my favorite of the AP groups when we still met at someone's house, but now my son leads the escape expeditions). Group 2 meets in a library basement and consists entirely of kids within 3 months of my son. Despite the AP title, people say things like "oh, you went back to work--it must be great to get away every day" and there are plenty of disposable diaper users, in addition to chats about the best Humanist groups in the area. Group 3 has older toddlers and meets at a park--I've been attending this one more often.

Play group 4 was brought together by someone from my RCIA class and consists of all Catholics, mostly converts and reverts. 7 of the 8 of us became moms in 2004. We meet biweekly and usually do a brief study before eating treats and chatting. I find that my expectations for them are so high that I get disappointed when their babies use pacifiers or sposies. Aren't they ecologically breastfeeding? Why aren't they crunchier. I mentioned this to my husband the other day and his response was that they're Catholic, but not necessarily saints (and we certainly have our issues, too). Trying to find that happy group where everyone agrees with me--that's the trick.

[Sixandthecity]

"Let's skip the unspoken competitions about whose family is more devout and who says a longer grace over lunch. Let's not assume that faithful Catholics are required to fit a particular mold. Instead let's take our motto from Augustine: "In essentials, unity; in all else, liberty." Let's remember that we are grinding the lenses through which our children will view the world, and let's strive together to give them the clearest vision we can."

Ok, I am quoting you to you, because I think that this is so profound that it bears repeating. I think that this should be posted on the door of all church family rooms! My circle of friends are mostly BabyWise users, but as one wise friend said, "Let's remember that you can love Jesus and keep your baby in bed with you!"