Things were quiet in the bedroom wall for a while, but our visitor is back. I left a message for an exterminator after my last rodent post, and he left a message for me, and then I kept writing "call exterminator" on my to-do list and not doing it. Today, though, I was awakened at 5:30 by a four-legged friend, and I called Nate the exterminator as soon as I deemed it polite.
He called me right back and wanted to know more about the problem. He thought it sounded more like mice than a squirrel, based on my description. "The things about mice, though," he added, "is that they breed in the walls."
"Oh, no," I told him. "No, no, no, Nate. This is a celibate mouse. I am sure of it."
Nate was available to meet me after my 3:00 meeting. (This day, you guys. SO BANANAS. This whole stretch of the semester is JUST BANANAS.) He was youngish; vibe = low-key competence. He climbed up on the roof and looked all around the exterior of our house and talked about options. None of them will be cheap, but we are kind of at a loss as to how one gets rodents out of the walls. They're not coming into the living space where we could trap them; they've just found some sort of new bonus exterior door that they're using to get inside Hotel Gladly. If I could find it I would hang up a sign: ONLY SHAKER MICE ALLOWED. (Or, you know, caulk it. One of the two.)
Nate is going to come back with bait. "It will get rid of mice," he said, "and voles if you have them. Or if you had rats--" Here I cut him off. "No rats," I said, channeling Edna Mode. He raised an eyebrow. "No rats are allowed," I continued. "I have created an anti-rat perimeter by the power of my mind."
Most of the time I know not to say the very goofiest things that churn up out of the depths of my brain, you guys, but here at the tail end of the semester my filter is sometimes less than adequate.