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August 26, 2016

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I'll be sharing this everywhere. You're my hero on this subject, but I completely understand wy you're exhausted.

Deciding to not fight for now isn't giving up, it's picking your battles and conserving your energy. You are right, they are wrong, and it is important, but so is your mental stress level.

Well-meaning adults who dial 911 is a category of people I haven't figured out either, and they cause me worry in new ways now, that I won't get into on your blog (writes note to self to think about writing about it on my own!).

You're a great parent, and I think you are also doing great at taking care of yourself. Be good to yourself, friend. Take a break.

Everything Tracy said. Also, I saw this article the other day and thought of you right away. I bet you've already seen it, but if you haven't here's yet more assurance that you're right and they're wrong. http://www.npr.org/sections/13.7/2016/08/22/490847797/why-do-we-judge-parents-for-putting-kids-at-perceived-but-unreal-risk

I respect so much your guidance of your kids toward independence, and also your ability to recognize your own limits. Both are important!

You know, as much as I admire the mothers who have been hammering away on this issue--on which I agree with you 110% percent--I think maybe it needs to be the dads' turn. As unfair as it is, a soccer coach might be more apt to listen to a dad who says, "I am telling you, you DO NOT have my permission to drive my child home. Let him walk. He is learning independence and courage." And maybe even, if he needs to push, "Telling my child to get in your car against my wishes is illegal." Because SO MUCH of the burden of the "your child must always always be under close adult supervision" nonsense falls on moms, and nearly ALL the blame when they aren't falls on moms. I think dads need to stand up and say that freedom for kids is worth something, that there are risks involved in keeping our kids bubble-wrapped. I know they are often working more hours away from their kids than moms, but maybe sometimes they need to get on the phone and make a call from work. (Note: this is not a comment specifically about you and your husband and what you should do--I agree that it's totally reasonable for you to be done working on this for a while--but about how I think advocacy on this could perhaps be done more effectively and with less burden on worn-down mothers in general.)

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